Happy Holidays from the Engen family

It’s the day after Christmas.  My sniffles have turned into a full blown cold. This morning I had big ideas about getting the house all cleaned up after yesterday’s onslaught, but once I finished with the dishes, my energy petered out. So it was a good excuse to do something I've been meaning to do for a long time. I’m writing a holiday letter!  I felt bad that I didn't get around to it last year and had sort of intended to just go ahead and write one at some point during the year, but here we are with Christmas behind us and the year rapidly winding down.

Before I started writing, I put together a slideshow of photos from the year. I’m pretty sure I get more out of this exercise than anyone who watches it. It’s a wonderful way to remember everything we did over the course of the year – the roads we traveled, the adventures we shared, the funny mishaps, the highs and the lows. Fortunately I take more photos of the highs than the lows!

Happy Holidays 2014 from Heather Engen on Vimeo.

It’s been a good year.  Many of you will know that in 2013 my mom got very sick. So one of the greatest blessings this year has been to watch my Mom return to more of her old self and to see the amazing progress she has made.

Because we never gave you a 2013 update, we never had a chance to announce that our family grew by two very sweet kittens: Smokey and Bandit. We think they might be at least part Maine Coon because they’re quite big.  In September they turned a year old and weighed in at 16.5 and 17 lbs, respectively. It’s always fun to watch Kardynn haul them around because they’re about half as long as she is!

Bandit & Smokey, November 2014

Around the same time that we acquired the kittens, I was having some struggles.  In November 2013, I attempted to run a half marathon. And I did run it but the instant I finished running, I could hardly walk. I got home and pulled out crutches because I was in so much pain. I was only on crutches for a couple of days but when a month had passed and things still weren't good, I finally went to the doctor.  I eventually discovered that I had a labral tear and a stress fracture in my hip. That was a lousy way to go into the holidays. I was in a massive brace that went from my waist to my thigh and on crutches for six miserable weeks. Literally adding insult to injury - I gained weight. Ugh. It was not a fun time. I had already committed to helping coach Girls on the Run in the Spring so that was a good way to ease back into exercise.  I was able to mostly jog the 5k race at the end so that felt like progress.

Meanwhile, in April (Spring Break), Oskar and Dwight had a big adventure. They flew out to Colorado with Grampy in his single engine plane. The trip took them a full day of flying!  But they had a blast. Meanwhile the girls had a good week too. The highlight was an overnight trip to Baltimore with friends.

Around this same time, my brother Jonny left his job in Colorado, defended his master thesis and started hiking the Appalachian Trail.  He left from Georgia on April 5 and he finished in Maine on October 9. It will no doubt be one of the highlights of his life. I was thrilled to be able to meet up with him on three different occasions. I loved hiking with him but I also decided maybe I don’t need to thru-hike the AT.*smile* Jonny’s trail name was Rockman. Dad and I were given trail names as well: Hippo and Blisterkrieg.  The funny thing about “Hippo” is that he was named by someone who knew absolutely nothing about his previous history with hippos. You can’t escape your past, it seems!

In June my past caught up with me in the form of a very dear childhood friend, Gary Roberts. He spent a few days visiting us, along with his wife and daughter. It had probably been nearly twenty-five years since we’d last spent time together but it was just like old times. We had a great time visiting with them and doing some touristy stuff as well.

We spent most of our summer poolside. But we did enjoy two quick getaways to the beach.  In July, Grampy took Kiersten, Kardynn and myself to Ocracoke for a day, in his plane.  A few weeks later the kids and I drove to the Eastern Shore and spent a couple of days with Dad and family.  Both trips were so much fun! We’re very grateful for relatives who share with us!

In September school started and it was a momentous occasion because Kardynn started first grade, which meant a jump from half day to full day. She did great. I thought I would have loads of free time but somehow that hasn't happened. Our house remains as disheveled as ever. But I have managed to squeeze in some good stuff all the same. In September, my friend and I did a 21 mile day hike on the AT. (Now I've hiked from Front Royal to Harper’s Ferry, not to mention 20 miles in southern Virginia and another little leg up in Maryland.) I managed to squeeze in a quick trip with Dad out to Arizona to visit Ted’s family. Dwight and I trained for a half marathon. I’m coordinating Odyssey of the Mind at the elementary school for the second year in a row (and the last year!). I’m also coaching two Odyssey teams. I’m taking photos for the school yearbook. And I've started working part time. So I’m keeping busy!

Dwight is still working from home for Oracle. It’s been interesting figuring out how to navigate around each other during the day. I think his life got easier when I started working because I’m no longer available to pester him during the day. I have to make the most of the time while the kids are away to get my work hours in! I’m really enjoying what I’m doing – I’m working with my Dad – but it’s only a short-term opportunity. So now I’m trying to decide whether or not I’d like to continue to work part time when this opportunity ends in a few months.

In November we were wild and crazy and had two whirlwind road trips.  At the start of the month, Dad and I piled my kids into the minivan and drove to Michigan for a long weekend.  It wasn't a very long weekend, however. We left here the Saturday after Halloween and came back two days later, on Monday. But we did get to visit a lot of relatives so that was fantastic and totally worth it.  Two weeks later Dwight and I drove to Richmond for the repeat Half Marathon. (I was thrilled to be able to jog the entire time and most importantly – I walked away from it!) The following weekend, Jonny and I loaded up the kids and drove down to Tennessee to visit with more relatives. Again, it was a mad dash there and back.  We took the kids out of school a little early on a Friday and then drove home on Sunday. Dwight surprised us by getting a ride in his Dad’s airplane and meeting up with us and then driving back with us on Sunday. We had a great time visiting with family, as always.  But all the same, we’re happy to report that there have been no road trips this month!

Jonny has been staying with us while he looks for a job. It seems he has a promising prospect so his time with us may be coming to an end, which will be bittersweet – bitter for us, sweet for him!  *smile* We really enjoy having him here. Unfortunately I think we've permanently cured him from ever wanting children!

Speaking of the children, we’re trying to adjust to the little people they’re becoming. Oskar has braces. Annika and Kiersten get their braces next month. Kiersten has started wearing glasses. Oskar's only a few inches shorter than me.  I look at them and wonder how they can possibly be this grown up.  They've changed so much, and yet they haven’t changed at all. 

Oskar wants to understand how everything works. He’s very curious about the hows and whys of the world. 

Annika is a powerhouse. She is organized chaos - a girl of extremes. One minute she's got our entire family organized and has everyone and everything moving like clockwork. The next minute she's on a raging rampage, wreaking havoc everywhere she goes. 

Kiersten is our sweet - and a little sneaky - bookworm. (She prides herself on the sneaky part.) She's tender, careful and cautious. 

Kardynn definitely makes the most of being the baby of the household. And yet it’s amazing to watch her interact with other people. She’s learned so much from having older siblings and she navigates the world with ease.   

They're all thriving in spite of us!

We look forward to the coming year and the many highlights it will no doubt bring. We hope our paths will cross with many of you and we wish you too, all the best things in 2015.

With much love and goodwill from the Engen family!

December 2014

Heather Engen Photography

So whatever happened to Heather Engen Photography?

I decided it wasn't the right fit for me and for where I was at that point in my life. I always struggled with how to price myself.  In some ways photography doesn't lend itself well to working part-time.  Many of the expenses are flat so whether you want to work 10 hours a week, 20 hours a week or 60 hours a week, your cost is the same.  And if you're doing family photography, the hours aren't family-friendly because the work tends to be on weekends. Plus, I've never felt comfortable with any sort of direct sales business and really my photography business felt like the same thing. I think the final straw was when I took photos for an acquaintance and they said they'd mail me a check, but they never did.  I felt awkward hounding them about it. That's when I sat down and took stock of what I was feeling about my photography business.  There were things I enjoyed - taking photos, interacting with people et cetera.  But ultimately I acknowledged that the right choice was for me to return to corporate America.  I felt like that was a better for my personality and skillset.

Having said that, Heather Engen Photography *does* live on as a hobby.  It's limping a little at the moment however. This summer I broke my favorite lens and one of my camera bodies. My waterproof camera died - taking fun photos along with it.  I don't have the same easy subjects I used to have - my kids are getting older and less cooperative. All of these things have contributed to throw me into a photography slump.  But one of these days I'll get around to fixing my 50mm lens and hopefully that will help cure the slump.

A New Chapter Begins

The milestone that I have been waiting for all these years, has come and gone.  All four children are in school full time.

I'm discovering that my seven hours sans children seem to fly by.  So far the house doesn't seem any cleaner and the dinners haven't been any more remarkable.  I have yet to bake cookies to welcome the kiddos home from school.  I've not done any scrap-booking.  My desk is still a mess, with stacks of papers and things to be done.  And the thing I was most looking forward to - being able to get into a great exercise routine - hasn't worked out that well either.  (But I don't feel that one's entirely my fault since I keep having to go back to the doctor to have him cut stuff out of my back and each time he wants me to take six weeks off of exercise. Seriously, doc?!)

I have been spending a lot of time at the school, helping out with various programs and even in the classroom.  I did manage to thoroughly organize my daughter's room...only to have her mess it right back up, within days.  I made a good start on the other daughter's room and she too messed it right back up.  In fact her room looks about ten times worse than it did before I started.  My one success has been my own neatly made bed every day.  And so far I'm still managing to pack lunches the evening before, which makes life so much better.  (I was having the kids pack their own lunches but after a few weeks of that, I decided I'd better step in and better manage the ratio of healthy to less healthy food!)

Even if the seven hours feel more like three, I am loving this bit of free time.  Dwight and I have started running together in the mornings, which is great.  We often grab lunch together, which is a real perk to having him work from home. I've also been enjoying lunches and Starbucks rendezvous with friends.  And there was even a weekend jaunt to Phoenix to visit my nephew (and his parents).

So life is good. And hopefully soon I'll get into a routine and I'm even hoping to get back to blogging.  So perhaps you might check back in a month or two, as opposed to a year or two.  :)

The Kids Still Amuse Me

Last week my friend Lisa stopped by to pick something up.  She opened her car door and something blew out in Kiersten's direction so she ran and picked it up.  It turned out to be a Wegmans receipt.  Lisa says, "Man, I spent a ton of money at Wegmans this week."  Kiersten looked at the receipt and said, "I see that."  Lisa and I died.  (For the record, it wasn't even that much money.)

This morning Oskar and I were walking to the school bus.  He held my hand and I said, "Aw, that's so nice.  You never hold my hand anymore."  He said, "Well I'd like to but you always have a lot of people around you."

Welcome to my life, folks.

Trail Magic

In the year 2000, I read Bill Bryson's book "A Walk in the Woods" and I loved it.  I had hiked on the Appalachian Trail before but didn't necessarily realize that it stretched across so many states or that "thru hiking" was a thing.  But I finished that book and dreamed of hiking the trail myself.  I even made plans with my husband and father-in-law that we would start planning for a thru-hike in the year 2005.  And then things changed.  By the year 2005, my husband and I had two small children.  By mid-year I was pregnant with our third. So this was a dream that was going to be on the back burner for a while.

But last fall, those dreams were given new life.  My little brother informed me that he was thinking about thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail. I was so excited for him. I offered to help him with mail drops and I enjoyed many a long discussion about gear or logistics and otherwise trying to live vicariously through his hike. I read Cheryl Strayed's "Wild".  We talked about trail names. I was a mixture of pride, envy and enthusiasm.

On April 5, his friend dropped him off at Amicalola Falls and he hiked the 8 mile approach to the trail head. And he's been doing his thing ever since.  Well, sort of.  At some point he started mentioning that his foot was bothering him. Then three weeks ago he called to find out if there was any way he could get picked up to take a little time off, to let his foot rest up and possibly get it checked out.

He spent nine days off the trail - nine days which felt like an eternity to him.  But he got xrays and saw a doctor and was able to rule out a stress fracture - which was his greatest fear. The doctor suspected that he had strained a ligament but it wasn't something that needed to keep Jonny off the trail.  So now Jonny needed a ride back. He suggested I join him for a couple of days of hiking.  It was something we had been planning on all along but suddenly it was really going to happen.

The timing was a little tricky because I was tied up for the weekend but we were able to work it all out for my dad and myself to join him.  We took off on a Monday morning, after getting my kids on the school bus.  Six hours later we were parking our car and hopping into a shuttle to get to where we wanted to start hiking.

Rockman and Big Sis

I only had three days on the trail, but in those three days, I quickly realized that, although I really enjoyed Bill Bryson's book, it didn't leave me with an accurate picture of the thru-hiking experience. Hiking the Appalachian Trail is an amazing physical accomplishment that requires mental fortitude and tenacity.  That part I understood. It takes a special person to be able to be able to trudge along, day upon day, through good weather and bad, sleeping in the elements, drinking from streams and digging cat holes in the woods.  When you get a bunch of those special people together, all overcoming the same obstacles and hurdles, something magical happens.  In our few short days on the trail, we met so many interesting people.  Everyone had a story.  Everyone was a character.

In AT vernacular, trail magic is when someone performs an act of kindness or charity for hikers.  But I think the trail magic is more than that.  It's the spirit and camaraderie that you feel on the trail - a force that binds the hikers to one another and helps encourage them along towards their destination.

Milestones

For many years I looked forward with anticipation to the day when all my children would be in school. It would mean no more preschool payments. It would mean no more schlepping them to and from preschool. It would mean no more trying to coordinate preschool hours with bus stop times. It would mean no more last minute grocery runs to provide snack for the preschool class.  It would mean a slightly bigger window of free time than I had ever had before.  These are some of the reasons it was a milestone I eagerly awaited. The day arrived and unlike so many mothers sending their youngest off to kindergarten, I didn’t feel an iota of melancholy about it.  She was ready. I was ready.

The school year has flown by.  There’s just over a month of school left.  Now, suddenly, I’m feeling nostalgic.  Frequently I find myself staring at that little girl, shocked to see that she has somehow turned into a big girl.  Her legs are long and lean. She’s losing that round baby face. Yesterday we drove down to the bus stop in the rain, and while we waited for the bus she read to me from the back seat. Again I found myself staring at her and thinking, “Where did this big girl come from?”

When I was a young girl, I always dreamed of going to college and what I would do and how fantastic it would be. That was the pinnacle. Luckily for me, those four years lived up to my high expectations. At the last minute I opted for a college close to home but I made great friends and had a blast. My sophomore year I went abroad to France and those memories are everything I ever hoped they would be. My junior year was back with my old friends and new friends and it was just as great as all the previous years.  My senior year I changed schools and again, I loved it.  College was definitely a high point for me. But after I finished, I remember feeling that I had made it into uncharted territory. I had never really imagined life after college.  I mean, of course I had planned for a career and I had vague ideas about a husband and children but I didn't have a clear picture of what might come next.  That is exactly what I’m feeling now. 

When the children were younger, I would always imagine how great it was going to be when my kids were all in school and I would finally have some time to myself. This September it’s happening. All my children will be in school for a full day.  I will have seven and half hours every weekday to do things without them. But I never had a clear picture of what the future would look like. Will I go back to work*?  Will I become an exercise fiend? Will I increase my volunteer hours at the school? Will I revisit my many hobbies that have fallen by the wayside these last few years?  I’m not sure. But the more I think about how quickly time has marched me to this place, the more I know that I’m no longer eager for any future milestones. Hopefully those daily seven and a half hours of quiet will give me the rejuvenation I need to be able to slow down and enjoy this process.

*I just couldn't let that sentence go without commenting on it.  It pains me to use that turn of phrase because of course these past nine years of "not working" have been a ton of work. I just wasn’t getting paid to do it. But I digress.