Engen Holiday Letter 2019

I love this time of year. I love holiday lights. I love coming up with gifts for the people in my life. I love holiday treats. I love breaks from school and work. I love getting snowed in (although in Virginia that usually comes later in the winter season). I love receiving holiday cards - I especially love seeing your family photos and reading your holiday letters.

Some years we’ve managed to get out holiday letters or cards of our own but we’re admittedly sporadic about it. This is a busy phase in my and Dwight’s lives and unfortunately there are plenty of things that fall through the cracks. But this year we’re sending out an update. Woo hoo! I know most of you have an opportunity to keep up with us on Facebook but since I enjoy reading your holiday recaps, I wanted to reciprocate with one of our own.

Last year was one of the years we didn’t get a letter out but some pretty big stuff happened in 2018. So I’m going back a little. In fact, as we roll into the 2020s, you’re lucky I’m not going back a full decade, people! I’m feeling a little sentimental!

Let's not beat around the bush. This will be a tale of all the best things happening in our lives. But do not be fooled. I’m not lying but I’m also not bothering to mention the frenetic pace of trying to get everyone where they need to be at the right times. I’m not going to mention how Annika and Kardynn only have time for quick PB&J in the car on their way to volleyball practice two nights a week. I’ll be leaving out the part about Kiersten having practice until 10 pm, those same two nights. I’m skipping over the days when I have to pick Kiersten up from drama practice at the same time but different school from where I also have to pick Oskar up from gaming club. And I’m totally not going to mention how that’s why I can’t drop Annika off at that same time, to volunteer at the volleyball club with the younger kids, which technically she ought to be doing. I'm omitting the fact that Annika and Kiersten have volleyball practice every.single.weekend that they don't have a volleyball tournament. I won't be talking about how we couldn't survive all this madness without awesome friends who are willing to carpool. I mean, you’ll get a sense of the fact that life’s a little nuts these days, but I will do my best to make it sound glamorous.  And there really has been some pretty awesome stuff going on so THAT’S what I’m going to tell you about!

In 2018 we fell down the rabbit hole of club volleyball. Tryouts were in November of 2017 and practices started that December but things didn’t really ramp up until 2018. Before we could even get to the first tournament, Annika managed to break her thumb. (She fell trying to beat her Dad down a ski slope at Vail. Of course that’s what she was doing.) So she had to sit out the first couple of tournaments of her club volleyball career. That was a rough start but the romance with volleyball has continued to grow. Annika and Kiersten both love it and there’s been no turning back. Spoiler alert, Kardynn now loves it too.

In January 2018, while Annika was sitting on the bench with her broken thumb, I managed to get Dwight out of North America for the first time. He and I went to Costa Rica with our friends Tim and Laurie. We'd been planning this trip for a couple of years, to celebrate our respective 20 year anniversaries (20 years dating for us, 20 years married for them)! We spent a week exploring beaches on the southwest side of Costa Rica. We visited Manuel Antonio National Park. Then we traveled north to a resort near the volcano Arenal where we enjoyed completely different scenery and relaxed in natural hot springs. The vacation would have been a perfect except that Dwight slipped on rocks during the first week and hurt his shoulder. It was a nasty injury that still bothers him at times but he would tell you that the trip was totally worth it.

In May of 2018 something very special happened. My sister-in-law, Joy, married Alvin. He’s a great addition to the family. Not only did we gain an awesome brother-in-law/uncle, we also welcomed a new niece and two nephews/three cousins (Autumn, Guy and Alijah). In August we were able to spend a week at the beach getting to know our new extended family (except for Alvin’s daughter, who unfortunately couldn’t make it at the last minute). We’re hoping to have a repeat soon, and this time Autumn had better be there!

Our Extended Engen Family

Just like they say in the infomercials, "but wait, there’s more". Right before our week at the beach, the kids and I traveled to Europe with my mom for almost two weeks. We squeezed in a lot during a short time. We spent a day wandering around Paris with my childhood friends Manu and Christophe. In France, we visited the Paris Catacombs, we went to Mont St Michel, we did a quick tour of the Louvre, we explored Versailles, we climbed the Eiffel Tower. Then we traveled by train to London. We spent a weekend at Newbold College, in Bracknell, catching up with people mom went to school with, when she spent her sophomore year of college abroad. Back to London, our hotel was near Primrose Hill so we enjoyed several jaunts there to enjoy views of the city lights. We had two full days with our guide, Peter, visiting Stonehenge, Bath, Castle Combe and a whirlwind tour of London. (Once he realized that the kids were Harry Potter fans, he tried to include as many Harry Potter sites as he could.) We took the train to Leavesden to explore the Harry Potter studio, which did not disappoint. And then we flew to Dublin for one final evening, before returning to the US. It was an epic adventure with Grandma that none of us will ever forget. I would be happy to ply my scrapbook upon you, if you ever want to stop by for a visit!

Once home, things were crazy as per usual. Our suitcases were the last ones to arrive to the luggage carousel so we just had time to drive home for the girls to change into spandex and then straight to the gym for middle school volleyball tryouts.  It’s a good thing I’d made the girls lay out their volleyball stuff before we left for Europe!  

We had two nights at home before leaving for the beach.  So that was a little nutty but I have to say that a) three weeks of continuous vacation was amazing and b) it was so relaxing to go from our fast-paced European tour to a lazy week at the beach.  Originally the plan was for a two week beach vacation (one week with Proutys and one week with Engens).  But then one of my Prouty sisters-in-law got pregnant and was unable to travel. Meanwhile Mom was looking for company to attend her Newbold reunion, so when the first beach week fell through, we opted in on the Europe trip but we had to squeeze it in between all the other stuff we already had going on. So we accidentally ended up in the extravagant position of going from one vacation to another.  It’s something I suspect I’ll never be able do again but if I could, I totally would!

When we finally got home from all the vacationing, Oskar started high school – two high schools in fact.  He was accepted into the Academy of Engineering and Technology at the Academies of Loudoun.  He alternates every other day between there and his home high school.  He’s thoroughly enjoying that program. But in what seems to be our modus operandi, his high school experience got off to a rocky start. He fell in the locker room after PE, one day, and hurt his wrist. As is unfortunately typical of the guys in my life, he was very stoic about it and didn’t say anything about it to anyone for several hours.  He proceeded to take a quiz (which he later admitted was a challenge). He attended a pep rally and tried to protect his wounded wrist from all the other people jostling around. He didn't even say anything until he'd been home for a while. But as soon as he *did* mention it and I took a look, I drove him right to the urgent care, where they confirmed a break in one wrist and a likely sprain in the other. He ended up with a cast on one wrist and a brace on the other (his uncles, Danny and Ted could both commiserate on what a miserable experience it is to have both wrists out of commission at the same time!).

Aunt Heather with Kierra, Kolton & Konnor

There was some foreshadowing when I mentioned that my sister-in-law was pregnant. Ted and Kristin welcomed Kierra Annabelle into the world in September of 2018. At the end of November, Dwight, Jonny and I made it out to Phoenix for a couple of days, so that we could finally meet her.  We had a wonderful time hanging out with our Phoenix family.  They’re fantastic hosts and I’m grateful for any time I get to spend with them! 

I actually had a little too much excitement, to be honest. I was at the hotel on a call with work when I started feeling very sick. Eventually I had to grab a trash can because I felt like I was about to throw up. I was also experiencing a fair amount of abdominal pain. When I started to get the shakes, I bowed out of the conference call and asked Dwight to drive me to an urgent care. There was a long wait there so they gave us directions to an ER that was very close.  As we were approaching the entrance, I said, “Hmm, I’m actually feeling much better.”  I went ahead and checked in and filled out the paperwork but after sitting in the waiting room for about 10 minutes, feeling fine, I told them I didn’t need to been seen anymore.  I was a little nervous that whatever it was might return for the following day’s flight home but it didn’t. Whew!  

Okay, I say “whatever it was” but really I knew what it was. I definitely recognized the all-to-familiar symptoms of a kidney stone. Sure enough, a couple of weeks later I was back in the ER and this time I stayed put for a night because the kidney stone got stuck and blocked things up on the way out.  It turned out that I had a second stone causing trouble on the other side so I ended up having two ureteroscopies within two weeks of each other.  The first one went great and I bounced right back.  The second one took a toll.  It probably didn’t help matters that I spent the following weekend at a volleyball tournament (with a stent in place – yikes!). I perhaps overdid it but in the end everything worked out. I recovered and it’s been great going a full year without any kidney stone pain!! Also, even though my good friend Lisa will never make it through this letter, thank you for picking me up at the urgent care after that bout of "overdoing it".

Dwight having a snowball with the kids in our back yard

Photo by Brian Benoit

In February, my grandmother, Violet Prouty, passed away.  She would have turned 98 in July. When I got the news that she wasn’t doing well, the girls and I were in DC for a volleyball tournament.  We had plans to hang out with my Dad the following day but new plans were made and he immediately boarded a plane for British Columbia, where Grandma had just moved to live with one of my aunts. Dad was able to spend quality time with her on that last day - she was awake and chatting several times.  In fact, most of his siblings were able to be there as well as several of my cousins.  I wish I too could have been with them in BC but at least I was able to video chat with Grandma earlier that evening. I’m very grateful to have had that opportunity. Grandma’s passing was what any of us would wish for ourselves. She was with some of her very favorite people. I think my Dad was even holding her hand. She was surrounded by love. It was peaceful and quiet. 

Dwight happened to be out of town at the time.  He was in Colorado for a two-week ski vacation with his Dad, Rita and his Uncle Glenn.  I was supposed to meet up with them for Dwight’s second week but when Grandma took a turn for the worse, I wasn’t quite sure what to do.  I considered flying out to BC instead but Grandma passed away before I was able to change any of my plans. I stuck with the original plan and met up with Dwight in Colorado.  As soon as I arrived, I immediately got sick with a nasty cold. I think it was my body's way of saying, "ENOUGH ALREADY!" But it was a good week and I’m grateful that I had the perfect combination of distraction and personal time to absorb what had happened.

Ironically, one week later I was back in Colorado with Annika for a volleyball tournament.  That was odd. I felt like quite the jet setter. Also, we had flight mishaps so we ended up flying into Denver one day and flying back home the next day. It all added up to a surreal experience. (That weekend is a perfect example of all the stuff I’m glossing over in this letter. Annika had to attend district band assessments so missed the first day of the tournament. We drove straight from there to the airport to catch our flight. We sat around for several hours only to have our initial flight so delayed to the point that we missed our connection. They rebooked us for the following morning but by this point it was pretty late at night. We had to get Dwight come pick us up, we slept for a couple of hours and then returned for an early flight the next day. Ugh.)

In March I flew to Canada for Grandma’s memorial.  The occasion was somber but the gathering was not. I adore my extended family and thoroughly enjoyed their company. Once again, it was a little too much adventure. We got hung up on our way back to the US because there was a fire in our terminal at the airport and they had to evacuate us. They weren't initially sure what to do with us because we were in the "US terminal" and had all cleared customs already. Initially we sat in shuttles watching the fire trucks. Eventually they drove us to another terminal. We all started milling around in the airport trying to figure out what would happen next. Then all our flights got cancelled because they couldn’t get us all through customs again. The hotels near the airport filled up right away but Uncle Cliff didn’t mind us showing up in the middle of the night so we rented a van and drove back to Oshawa. He was a great last-minute host. I made it home the next day so all’s well that ends well.

Our "neighborhood" in Virgin Gorda

In April, I got Dwight out of North America for a SECOND time!  We flew to Virgin Gorda in the British Virgin Islands with our friends Mark and Christy (who have generously been hanging out with us for more than 20 years now!) and Dave and Bryn. The Caribbean was gorgeous. I loved the clear water – a little too much apparently, because I got a pretty bad sunburn the very first day.  The rest of the time I swam in a long sleeve swim shirt and my North Face hiking pants.  But I think that kind of worked for me because even though I loved the clear water, most of you reading this will know that I can get a little squirrelly in water after my childhood trauma of being in the water with Dad when he was bit by a hippo.  So I loved and hated snorkeling.  I loved looking at the fish but I was also slightly terrified at all times and was glad to have my clothes between me and whatever creatures were out there. Dwight was – as always – an amazing friend.  I think I had several near panic attacks and possibly started hyper ventilating a time or two but he patiently and calmly helped me get through it. I would go back to the Caribbean in a heartbeat – but not without Dwight!

When we got home we went straight to the Gaylord at the National Harbor, where Annika was playing in a volleyball tournament (we missed Kiersten’s tournament in Philadelphia the previous weekend but our awesome friends Brian and Lori took good care of her).

As the school year started to wind down, we remained busy with volleyball practices, tournaments and musical obligations. Annika played the baritone saxophone for the school band (which she ultimately gave up in 9th grade). Kiersten has been a member of her school’s Select Chorus since 6th grade. She has quite a few Select concerts, in addition to the ones for the grade level chorus.

In May we drove down to Chattanooga, Tennessee for our nephew Hunter’s college graduation. Hunter is pretty much one of the coolest guys you’ll ever meet – in our completely unbiased opinion – so it was an honor to be able to be there to celebrate his success. He’s now living and working in Chattanooga and I think he’s enjoying it although we secretly wish he’d move back closer to us (and his mom too, I suppose).

In June, Annika and I flew to Florida for yet another volleyball tournament. I can’t believe that we’re actually flying around for volleyball tournaments. Years ago, I remember seeing some episodes of the TV show, “Dance Moms” and I was flabbergasted that they would actually FLY somewhere for a dance competition. And now here we are. We’ve taken commercial flights to two volleyball tournaments. Of course, between you and me, I’m secretly delighted for the excuse to travel ANYWHERE because I’m a nut and I LOVE travelling that much, but still, it’s weird.

Alright, I realize this is probably getting a bit much with the travel but I can’t help it.  Travelling is my favorite. If Dwight were the one writing this holiday letter I’m sure you’d be hearing all about software hacks or what tunes his band is singing.  But with me it’s all about the trips. So you can bail on this letter if you want to - because it will keep being more of the same - or you can keep reading and hear about the next place we went…which was…Newfoundland!  And it was awesome.  You might have seen this coming but we had some commitments to work the trip around. Before we left for Newfoundland, first we attended the wedding of our friends Danny and Ginger, in Richmond, Virginia. Then we rushed home and caught a flight to meet up with the rest of the Bob Prouty clan, in St John’s. Danny and Amy couldn’t make it due to the arrival of our youngest nephew, Cason Robert, at the beginning of May.  (Yep, my other Prouty sister-in-law decided to get in on the third baby, gender-change action.)  The rest of the Bob Prouty gang spent a week together in Newfoundland.  It was amazing. My Grandma Prouty was from Newfoundland so it was a perfect farewell.  Newfoundland also has special significance for me because that’s where my parents were living when I was born and where I spent the first year of my life.

We saw two different homes where Grandma Prouty lived in St. John’s. We visited a park that she frequented in her youth. We visited many sites with family historical significance. And just in general we enjoyed the beautiful scenery and the friendly folks. We also got to see whales which was something on *my* bucket list!

This year Annika started high school and Kardynn started middle school. Kiersten is in her last year of middle school and Oskar is in his second year of high school. Kardynn is at a different middle school than Kiersten – because of course we can never do anything the easy way. Our neighborhood got rezoned to new schools but we let our kids stay at the schools where they’ve been, with the kids they know.  The transition didn’t affect Kardynn because we got rezoned to the middle school where most of her elementary school friends would already be attending.  Oskar and Annika were able to get bussed for one last year (the county doesn’t force seniors to switch and we had a couple in our neighborhood) but I have had to drive Kiersten. It’s a big commitment but I’m grateful for that little bit of time to ourselves that we get twice a day on the drive to and from school.  

Kardynn seems to love her new school as well as being a middle-schooler. She’s a social butterfly.  She also has quite a flair for decorating.  Plus she seems to have learned how to purge much better than some members of our household (*cough, cough* me *cough, cough*). Dwight keeps trying to enlist her to “decorate” the rest of the house. 

Annika made the varsity volleyball team which was awesome for me because for one high school season I got to hang out in the bleachers with my friend Hilary whose oldest daughter was a senior on the same team.

Oskar has his learner’s permit.  He could have his driver’s license but we’re not quite ready to let him loose on the world. However, he does need to be driving by the start of next school, because he’s going to be driving the “Engen bus” for himself, Annika and Kiersten! Ha! He was initially unenthusiastic to get his license because he's convinced I'll try to make him drive his sisters to volleyball.  Why on earth would he think that?! *hehe*

Also, 2019 can go on record as the year that he passed Dwight in height. It’s still bizarre to see him taller than Dwight but there's no denying it at this point. He’s quite tall. 

Dwight is still working with the same guys that he started working with more than 20 years ago.  He had a two year jaunt with Oracle a few years ago but he missed his former team so eventually they wooed him back. When he’s not working you can still find him doing his favorite stuff – playing guitar and playing basketball being at the top of that list.  He’s been getting together once a week to play music with the same group of guys for quite a few years now.  That’s definitely a highlight for him. He also plays volleyball with me one night a week but it’s not the thing that either of us does best. Ha!

Our girls inherited my enthusiasm for volleyball but fortunately for them, there was some prowess added to the mix. This club volleyball season we’re taking it to the next level because all three girls are playing travel now.  If any of you happen to be into volleyball, Annika has been playing middle blocker although she’s hoping to transition to an outside.  Kiersten is a setter.  It remains to be seen how Kardynn will specialize but she’s certainly a better passer than her sisters were at the same age.  The younger ones always benefit from the influence of the older ones (said as an older sister, of course).

Annika missed the photo because she was taking a nap

We had one final hurrah for the 2010s and spent a long weekend in Hilton Head, South Carolina.  We had planned to spend a couple of days in Charleston but flooding down left us pivoting to a new plan. Traffic on the drive down was a nightmare but we explored a spot that was new to all of us and got a lot of quality time together so it was all worth it. We strolled on the beach. We played games together. We enjoyed the hot tub. We helped capture an FBI fugitive…okay…that was an escape room but still, we were awesome. I have the picture to prove it. 

At the start of this letter I mentioned that I love the holiday season and I shared some of the reasons why.  But I didn’t share my favorite thing about the season which is getting to spend time with so many people that I love.  My wish for you in the coming year is that you get to spend an abundant amount of time with your favorite people. I know that’s my wish for myself!

May the coming decade bring you much love and laughter!

With love from the Engens!

(Edited by Kiersten… so if you find any mistakes, come complaining to me!)