heather engen photography

NeeNee

2012-02-01T00:20:00.001-05:00

HPE_0726, originally uploaded by hezro.

Today we attended a graveside service for my husband's grandmother. It was a brief but very touching service. She was an amazing woman. She raised five children by herself AND put herself through college at the same time.

She was well loved and will be missed.

Jan 27

2012-01-27T23:53:00.001-05:00

20120127-HPE_0564, originally uploaded by hezro.

Today did not start well. We got off to a late start. I knew we were cutting it close with the school bus. The kids jumped in the car and sure enough, we saw the bus leaving as we pulled out of our driveway. Ugh. I missed the school bus...for the third time in as many months. Luckily for me, I can take a short cut and actually beat the bus to the next stop.

After I dropped off the kids off, I pulled back out and followed the bus for a minute before returning to my short cut. (Note to self, if I'm ever really, super late, I actually have one more opportunity to catch the bus. And I would be lying if I tried to pretend that this wild idea didn't just race through my head: we could *always* drive to that stop and it would probably buy me an extra five...or maybe even ten minutes every morning.) Anyway, here I am, following the bus, after having safely deposited my children on it. And because I'm a sucker for wet pavement and big, brooding clouds, I just happened to have my camera with me.

When I got home, I got a lot done but before I knew it, it was time to rush to the gym for my masters swim class. I actually had a pretty good swim. Right now I'm focused on improving my rotation. Last week it was steep and deep. The week before that it was a 2:3 breathing pattern. Who knew swimming was this complicated?! Ha! Although, it's crazy how far I've come in a year and a half! Wait...it's been a year and a half?! Seriously?! That's a pretty long time. Hmm...well...still...today's swim felt good. I think I was a little slower than usual but I think I was nailing the drills. In fact, after the stun gun drill, the coach said my stroke looked perfect...for 25 meters. *ahem* Can we pretend that he didn't add that caveat?! (After typing this paragraph, I went back and read this post from October 2010 and had to laugh. Oh...how little I knew. Not to mention, I'm suddenly feeling less pleased with myself for my little compliment today. Apparently I had a better stroke back then than I do now because I can assure you that none of the coaches since then have ever been as pleased with my stroke as that swim teacher was!)

Anyway, when I left the gym I was feeling good. It was almost 60 degrees out. There was a beautiful blue sky with fluffy white clouds. What a pleasant day! Kardy and I went from the gym to Tysons Corner where we met up with an old friend of mine from way back when my family lived in Africa. And then I came straight back to coaching my Odyssey of the Mind kids.

A busy, full day - as per usual.

I've not been very good about linking up my Focus 52 posts but I have been doing it. This week's prompt is leading lines. I didn't actually know that when I took the school bus pic but...it's the best I've got. (Sometimes I'm a little slow to get to the party but hey, better late than never!) Last week was black and white. The week before that was "I Am ___". I was late with my "I Am ___" photo but I was pleased with myself for doing it all the same. For the first week of the year, I followed the "New" prompt but it was a conceptual leak. I was determined to make a reNEWed effort to update my blog and recommit to Focus 52...and all that jazz. So I actually sat down, wrote what was on my mind and even linked it up. Although in general I'll be more Focus52ed on photos.

Jan 25

2012-01-27T08:37:00.001-05:00

Jan 25, originally uploaded by hezro.

So remember how the tooth fairy wouldn't go into Annika's room because it was a mess? Well, as you can see, the tooth fairy wasn't kidding. I'm a little embarrassed to post this photo of my daughter's messy room, but, it is what it is. My mom keeps encouraging me to let them have control of their rooms. Meanwhile my husband's perspective is that we're complete failures as parents if we're not teaching our children discipline. UGH!

I'm *trying* to get them to appreciate the value of an organized environment...or at least a clear walking space...but clearly I've not had much impact on Annika. *sigh*

Anyway, the point of this photo is actually to show her solution for the tooth fairy. She stuck her tooth under her pillow pet and left it here at her door.

P.S. This morning I couldn't take it anymore and I at least threw her dirty clothes into her hamper, when I went to wake her up for school. Annika said, "Wow, I had a lot of clothes on my floor." You don't say?!

Juice Guts

2012-01-26T23:31:00.000-05:00

My husband is totally grossed out by the picture of cucumber, celery, banana and apple remains oozing out of the juicer (see below...if you dare). The beets and carrot guts were kinda pretty in my bowl...but yeah...the greens...not so much.

Juice

2012-01-25T16:22:00.001-05:00

Juice, originally uploaded by hezro.

A few months ago, my sister-in-law mentioned that she was trying something called "juicing" (which immediately makes me think of a gym rat but no, this is a different kind of juicing). That very same weekend, I was looking for a movie to watching on Netflix streaming and I chose one that Netflix recommended to me called Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. It turned out to be the same movie that had inspired her. After watching the movie, I really wanted to try a cleanse but I was about two weeks ot from a triathlon so it didn't seem like a good time to try it.

In the meantime I purchased a fancy shmancy blender. My hope was to get more fresh fruits and veggies into our diet. (I've already used it almost 50 times in the fews weeks that I've owned it - it keeps track).

Recently my friend Bryan tried juicing and posted about it on Facebook. He's had amazing success and once again, the idea was back in my head. A few years ago my mom gave me a Champion juicer so yesterday I decided to give it a try.

I printed off Bryan's recipe and went to the store. This is the juice I intended to make:

5 cucumber
5 carrots
12 stalks of kale
12 stalks celery
1/2 bundle of spinach
1/2 bundle of parsley
1 beet
1-1/2" ginger root
5 apples
1/4 of a whole pineapple
1 mango
1 banana

Unfortunately, when I got started juicing, I realized that my juicer is missing its tamper, which was a bit of a problem. I tried using a cucumber as a tamper, which worked a lot of the time. But it didn't always work so I was using a wooden spoon to shove stuff down, but unfortunately once it got away from me and I completely destroyed my beloved Pampered Chef spoon. :(

I wasn't able to get all 12 stalks of celery into my juice but I think I got pretty much everything else in there. This was not really a full fledged jump into juicing. This was basically a trial run to see a) how the juicer worked and b) whether the juice was palatable.

The results

It was quite a lengthy process. I think it would have been much easier with a tamper so I've since purchased one online and I'll try it again after that arrives. But I have to admit, the juice was much tastier than I expected it to be. Because of my troubles with the juicer, it was a little pulpy but the taste really was not bad. Having said that, I'm amazed that Bryan can drink it day after day. I'm pretty sure I'd have to switch things up. But all in all, I'd say the experiment was a success and I definitely want to try a cleanse, when I've got all the right equipment.

Jan 24

2012-01-25T13:27:00.001-05:00

Jan 24, originally uploaded by hezro.

The bus was 30 minutes late!

Jan 23

2012-01-25T13:25:00.001-05:00

Jan 23, originally uploaded by hezro.

Grampy and Annika took a little midday nap.

Jan 21

2012-01-25T13:10:00.001-05:00

Jan 21, originally uploaded by hezro.

So I'm going to be a little wordy, which I suppose is nothing new. But usually I sort of stumble onto being wordy and never actually intend to be. Oh my...now I'm being wordy about being wordy.

Anyway, I'm working on a web site for Heather Engen Photography and you may have noticed that I've rolled my blog into that. So I wanted to make a new header, which reflected this change and made mention of Heather Engen Photography.

In the meantime, at the start of the month I decided to once again, try to participate in Jan's Focus 52 project over at Two Scoopz. I read the prompt for the second week, "I am ____", and I decided a new self-portrait would fit the bill. Plus I wanted to redo my blog header anyway so I could kill two birds with one stone.

So there you go - that was my wordy way of introducing this photo. This shot was taken while I was still testing the light and actually, I decided that I would rather have two catch lights so I changed the lights around after this set up. By the time I got everything set the way I wanted it, I'm holding a camera in every single on of those pictures. In retrospect, I should have taken a few sans camera but I guess I was very focused on the task at hand. (Look up at the new blog header and you can see one of the pictures from my final lighting scheme.)

Naturally I hated pretty much every single photo I took - including this one. It's strange because I used to be fine with photos of myself but it's been several years since I've had a picture that I like. There's something in particular about this photo that I'm extremely self-conscious about. Perhaps (hopefully?) others wouldn't even notice it - because of course to others this is just how I look. (Actually, most people would probably say this is a big improvement because my hair is actually combed and I'm wearing make-up!) But I look at this photo and that one thing I don't like literally jumps out at me. It's pretty much all I can see. I don't want to tell you what it is, either, because I don't want to draw your attention to it...but I suspect it might not be the first "flaw" others would notice. Of course, I don't want to open it up for guessing either because then I might get self-conscious about some new thing(s). Yikes! Anyway, point is, I took quite a few photos and there were very few that I thought were even passable. So...this is a reminder to myself to be understanding when taking photos for other grown-ups because they might have similar peculiarities. :) When it comes to pictures of ourselves, I think we care a lot less about technical proficiency than we do downplaying all of our "defects".

Moving on, we had an ice storm that day so while *I* was inside taking photos, the kids were out sledding on the ice. My father-in-law gave us these great sleds which are perfect for these conditions. The kids had a lot of fun with them. (And clearly I did manage to sneak outside for a few minutes.)

Jan 20

2012-01-25T12:04:00.001-05:00

Jan 20, originally uploaded by hezro.

The girls were running laps around the house while Dwight and Oskar were at Oskar's basketball practice. Afterward we all went out to eat. Then Mommy met up with some friends at a neighbor's house. When we left, we were all excited to see some snow!

Jan 18

2012-01-25T12:02:00.002-05:00

Jan 18, originally uploaded by hezro.

Another loose tooth!

Jan 17

2012-01-25T12:02:00.001-05:00

Jan 17, originally uploaded by hezro.

Annika made a poster for her "How to Monkey Jump" presentation. As you can see, I gave her full ownership. We made a DVD of her demonstrating how to do it and I did help her out with that. I think she wanted to make a DVD because she remembered Oskar making a DVD last year, when he presented "How to Rock Climb". Anyway, apparently the experience was a little traumatizing because a) allegedly her classmates laughed when they watched the DVD and b) all her pictures fell off her poster, when she went to give her presentation.

Oops. I guess that's what happens when you give a 6 year old full ownership of the process.

Jan 16

2012-01-25T11:57:00.001-05:00

Jan 16, originally uploaded by hezro.

The kids had a sleepover at Grandpa's house (my dad). Here we are picking them up the next morning.

Jan 15

2012-01-25T11:56:00.001-05:00

Jan 15, originally uploaded by hezro.

We visited with Grammy (Dwight's mom).

Jan 14

2012-01-25T11:42:00.001-05:00

Jan 14, originally uploaded by hezro.

Oskar is playing basketball in a county league. The league is run by Gheorge Muresan so that's pretty cool. He coached the kids one evening. Oskar seems to be enjoying himself but he gets distracted very easily. Shocking, I know.

After Oskar's basketball game we went skiing (I still haven't downloaded the pictures from my little point and shoot camera) and then we watched Hunter's basketball game. I could kick myself because I left the camera in manual mode, even though I was trying to get motion blur photos. I should have locked down the shutter speed. UGH! Anyway, if I wasn't so lazy, I would do some post processing and fix the color and exposure but instead, I share my three favorites with you in all their SOOC glory! :)

Jan 12

2012-01-25T10:03:00.001-05:00

Jan 12, originally uploaded by hezro.

It was very warm so we took advantage and spent some time outside. Autumn watched her cousin, Annika, doing monkey jumps.

Earlier in the day she was not so happy. I tried to put her down for a nap and she wasn't having it. Before I rescued her, I had to first get a picture of what a big girl she is now and how she can sit up in her bouncy seat.

Jan 11

2012-01-25T09:56:00.001-05:00

Jan 11, originally uploaded by hezro.

My daughter picked out this outfit and was quite pleased with herself because she felt that this was a masterpiece in MATCHING. The three browns match each other, of course, and the tights match the pink in the flowers (which you can kind of see from this angle).

She also asked me to take a photo of these webkinz for. She had borrowed them from her friend for the day.

Jan 10

2012-01-25T09:52:00.001-05:00

Jan 10, originally uploaded by hezro.

I was playing around with the camera and trying to get a good motion blur (this NOT being the result I wanted) but I loved that they were holding hands, walking to the bus stop. I can't look at this picture for long because it makes me a little dizzy, but yeah, I love it when I catch moments of them being sweet with each other.

Jan 9

2012-01-25T09:50:00.001-05:00

Jan 9, originally uploaded by hezro.

If you look carefully, you can see snowflakes. Kardynn had fun running around catching snowflakes on her tongue, while waiting for her ride to preschool.

I Love You Mom

2012-01-25T09:48:00.001-05:00

I Love You Mom, originally uploaded by hezro.

Jan 8
Right now the kids - especially the girls - are into writing me little love notes. I have to enjoy it while I can because I have a feeling that before too long, things will change.

The Tooth Fairy Visits

2012-01-24T22:11:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Annika lost her second tooth. (For historical purposes, I will point out that at the same time, Autumn is gaining a few new teeth. Her third tooth poked through while she was at our house last week and apparently another one this weekend, with more on the way.)

But back to Annika, her tooth came out while we were having veggie burgers for lunch. She took a bite then noticed a tooth in the bite mark. (Thank goodness she noticed!)

This morning she found a note on her door.

It says,

"Monday, January 23, 2012

Dear Annika,

I'm sorry but I could not deliver your money tonight. Your room is very messy so I did not think I could get to your bed and find your tooth. I will try again tomorrow night.

Your friend,
Kavira Claus
(The Tooth Fairy)"

As you can imagine, this note has prompted a lot of conversation around the house today. The note itself is about an inch and a half long and inch wide. Annika felt that since the paper and text were very small, the tooth fairy must clearly be small. But then she was mystified by why the tooth fairy's scotch tape was not similarly small. Since the note was taped to her door at about handle height, Annika made the assumption that the tooth fairy must be able to fly. Which lead her to question why the tooth fairy couldn't fly over her stuff to get to her bed. Also, she wondered how the tooth fairy knew in advance that her room was going to be messy, since this note seems to have been printed on a printer. They theorized that perhaps she had been informed by Santa, assuming of course that the name "Kavira Claus" means that she has some link to Santa. Many details and nuances were discussed and countless theories were thrown around. Overall, Annika seems to have been quite delighted with her note from the tooth fairy.

We ended up having a busy afternoon. As soon as the kids got off the bus, we went straight to picking up Kardynn and then came back immediately to Odyssey of the Mind and then it was time for supper and straight to bed after that. So in Annika's defense, she never really had an opportunity to tidy up her room. She had to think outside the box, if she wanted to get money tonight. She informed her dad that she was going to get around these setbacks by leaving the tooth at her door. Dwight said, "How will the tooth fairy know to find your tooth there?" Simple. She was going to put it under a pillow, of course.

New Directions

2012-01-19T01:41:00.001-05:00

For eight years I've been blogging about my life, my kids and whatever suited my fancy. My primary intention was to document the madness.

Last year, when I decided to make my photography business official, I started a business blog but seeing as how I haven't even been posting to this one, it eventually became clear to me that maintaining two blogs just wasn't going to happening. So I'm merging the blogs...at least for now. We'll see how it goes. So pardon the dust while I get things organized. Check back to see how things evolve!

Book List

2012-01-11T10:41:00.001-05:00

Book List, originally uploaded by hezro.

A few weeks ago I sorted through a bunch of stuff on our storage room and in a book, I found this Barnes & Noble receipt from 2005 with this post-it stuck to the pack with a list of 8 books. I no longer recall the origins of this post-it. I had a vague recollection of my friend Tonya giving me a list of books. But who knows. What I found fascinating is that I've read all but one of the books on this list. Now some of these books I had read long before 2005 (like "Enders Game" and several Nicholas Sparks books). Anyway, just a little random tidbit for this Wednesday.

I probably think this came from my friend Tonya because of the extremely neat handwriting! Not that my other friends don't also have this same great teacher handwriting. Come to think of it, that brings another friend to mind. Though I think Jina's very neat handwriting is a little different than this.

Jan 6 - Bus stop

2012-01-08T19:12:00.000-05:00

Bus stop, originally uploaded by hezro.

The thing I dislike about having the kids in school is waking up at the crack of dawn to get them to the bus. I'm not a morning person so waking up at 6:30 am is NOT fun for me. Maybe when they're all in school, I'll be able to go back home and crawl into bed. That might not be so bad. But otherwise, these early mornings are for the birds! (Oh, and did I mention cold? That makes it all the better. [insert sarcastic smirk here])

Jan 5

2012-01-08T19:11:00.001-05:00

Autumn, originally uploaded by hezro.

My niece is waiting for me get the older kids ready to walk to the bus stop. What a big girl!

Jan 4 - Marshmallow Girl

2012-01-08T19:08:00.003-05:00

Marshmallow Girl, originally uploaded by hezro.

Waiting for her ride to preschool.

Jan 3 - Five Minute Snow Storm

2012-01-08T19:08:00.001-05:00

Five Minute Snow Storm, originally uploaded by hezro.

We had a very brief snow storm the other day. But seeing as how there's not been much snow to speak of, we enjoyed the brief snatch of winter weather. Ten minutes after this photo was taken, the sun returned the little piles of snow quickly melted.

Jan 2 - Mommy time

2012-01-08T19:07:00.001-05:00

Mommy time, originally uploaded by hezro.

My sweet little niece loves her mama!

Jan 1 - First picture of the new year

2012-01-08T19:05:00.001-05:00

First picture of the new year, originally uploaded by hezro.

We were playing "The Game of Things" while we welcomed the New Year. My mom sneezed right when the ball dropped and we all wondered what sort of an omen that was.

Parental Guilt

2012-01-06T23:44:00.001-05:00

Today several of my friends linked to Momastery's recent post on parenting. If you happen to be a parent, you should take a minute and read it. When I finished reading it, I felt like she could have pulled that straight out of my head because that's exactly what I've been thinking (only it was quite a bit less eloquent in my head).

I've had Momastery's blog in my blog roll for a few years because one of my friends told me about her. In fact, I believe they're friends in real life. (Or I could be completely confused about that friends in real life part. That's also highly likely.) Anyway, like I was saying, Momastery has been on my blog roll for a few years so it was kind of random when three different Facebook friend linked to that post today because up until then, I sort of felt like Momastery was my private thing...well...private to me and our mutual real life friend (or not).

The post struck a chord. I've been in a weird place trying to figure out how to be me, in the midst of being a mom and a wife. Plus I'm feeling some sort of middle-aged thing going on. I suppose technically I'm not middle-aged, but that's what it feels like because it feels very much like I'm between things. So I'm trying to figure it all out. How can I be a good parent and a good wife but still be me? Where's the appropriate balance? And how do I find my way there without feeling guilty about claiming that for myself?

This particular chapter in my life started in October of 2002. I found out that I was pregnant. Somewhere between that moment and the following July, when my son arrived, I became a mommy. By the time I laid eyes upon my son, I already loved him with an overflowing heart. I loved every perfect detail...because in my eyes, of course every detail *was* perfect. I didn't even know him, but I loved him with an intensity that was overwhelming.

Before he turned six, our household had grown to include three wonderful little girls. After each of their births, I was amazed yet again by that magical love that you can feel for someone you don't even know yet. I would admire their perfect little mouths and hands and toes. I would marvel upon these amazing little people who were mixtures of my husband and myself. With perfect clarity I can remember holding each of them in those first few hours after their birth. And yet, those early years of parenthood are a blur. I had four young children and it was all I could do to survive the day. The days that felt successful were the days I managed to entertain the kids long enough to wash the dishes or pay some bills or fold some laundry or sweep the floors or some combination of the millions of things that mommies do. And now, nine years later, after so many years of trying to tune the kids out, I don't quite know how to tune them back in.

It scares me a little...okay, it scares me a lot. Every time someone tells me that these are the best years of my life I think "Oh crap! Is this seriously the highlight?" followed closely by, "What the heck am I doing wrong if I'm supposed to be enjoying this?!" I try to remind myself to enjoy this special time of my life because I KNOW that some day I'll look back on it and miss it. I've been informed. But it really doesn't work. Oh sure, I could live in the moment and skip the chores but it *would* catch up with me. Even if it's nothing more than a grumpy husband who's annoyed at the mess, I'm telling you, it *will* catch up with you. There's no escaping the responsibility of being a parent.

I think we can all agree that we're going to love these little beings to a degree that we never knew possible. And it's totally amazing. Plus they kind of look like mommy, they kind of look like daddy, which of course makes them pretty much the cutest thing ever. And they say all the stuff you say, but in cute little kid ways which makes it absolutely adorable. Yep, they are cute to the nth degree.

But what you don't quite realize at first is that they're like giant tethers. You won't be able to leave the house because a) it's a pain in the butt or b) it costs too much money. Okay, I may have over simplified things a bit. But it is kind of true. Kids require that you be very responsible, and as we all know, being responsible is NOT exactly what comes to mind when you're trying to have a good time.

I don't enjoy taking my kids to their various activities but I do it because I love them. If I didn't have to feed my kids, I would probably skip dinner as often as not. I certainly never feel like doing the dishes. I don't like helping them with their homework. I absolutely detest resolving their squabbles. I do not enjoy picking up after them. It breaks my heart to watch them struggle with friendships and social missteps. I could go on and on listing all the "parental baggage" that I get bogged down with every day. And I don't feel bad admitting that to you. Why should I?! Who *would* enjoy that stuff?! Why should I feel guilty for not enjoying it?

Am I enjoying my three year-old sitting on my lap right at this very moment...moving my mouse around and occasionally making this screen disappear? Kind of, actually. I really do love her a lot and she is pretty cute. Her hair is soft and smells sweet. Plus it's kind of funny that I'm sitting here complaining about parenting but since she can't read she has no idea. I've kissed the back of her head several times and played several rounds of "Mommy, close your eyes" so I'm pretty sure she has no clue that she's actually driving me a little crazy.

I guess the trick is figuring out how to enjoy them. I love them and I know that they're totally awesome, but somehow I need to figure out how to just chill out and have fun with them. (And not just from behind my camera either!) So I think that's priority #1 for this year.

And in the meantime, my back up plan is this blog. Years from now, when these days have become fuzzy memories and I start to feel nostalgic about the years gone by, I'll pull up these blog posts and remind myself of how much work these years were! And then I'll sit right back down in that rocking chair on my porch and enjoy the peace and quiet while I read another chapter on my Kindle.

Post script

As I sat here reflecting about this post and poking around online, I ended up at An Inch of Gray. I read this post which eventually lead me to the post about Jack's tragic death. The crazy thing is that I suddenly realized this must be someone who lives in this area because I remembered reading about this story back when it happened. Suddenly everything I'd been thinking about the misery of parenting sounded very trite. I'm no longer feeling lighthearted and sarcastic. I've lost interest in trying to "pull it all together".

I do hope to find a better balance in my life. But as much as I beat myself up about my failures as a parent, there's one thing that I can unequivocally pat myself on the back for. All four of my children know that they are loved beyond measure. They are confident, joyful children who feel comfortable being their quirky selves. And for that I am humbled and grateful.

Sew Easy

2011-12-16T19:16:00.002-05:00

In November I started a fairly time-consuming photography job. Between that and several other photography jobs, it seems that most of my spare time since then has been spent either taking photographs or editing them. In the meantime I also hosted Thanksgiving, I've been taking the kids to all of their various activities and commitments - not to mention coaching their Odyssey of the Mind team AND chaperoning a field trip. And let's not forget Christmas. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how much work Christmas is. So, yeah, things have been a little nuts around here.

In an attempt to simplify my life I decided to purchase some cloth gift bags from Tiny Olive. I loved the idea of being able to reuse them year after year. But, just from looking at the description on the web site, I realized that these bags would not accommodate all of our gifts because they're fairly small. And if you've been around young children opening gifts, you probably realize that they rarely wish for small things. While I was looking around online for some bigger bags, inspiration hit. Why not make my own bags?! My mom recently gave me a sewing machine, with the offer to teach me how to sew. If you were paying attention to that last sentence, you probably caught the part about my not knowing how to sew. Plus I have absolutely no free time, remember?

Undeterred by theses small details, the very next day Mom and I set off for the fabric store. We bought various necessary sewing supplies and about 22 yards of various different fabrics. Instead of making a draw string, I decided I would tie a ribbon around the bags. I figured that would make them easier to sew and I thought it would be pretty, to boot. I also discovered that making my own bags was not great cost savings. Hmph.

The pretty bags from Tiny Olive that provided inspiration. By the time they arrived, I already had already completed three bags of my own.

Mom taught me how to load the bobbin and thread the machine.

She taught me how to make a french seam.

She showed me how to hem the top edge.

I now have a dozen large bags and I actually want to go back and buy some more fabric. I may add drawstrings at a later point. This was a great project for learning some sewing basics and I *do* think sewing is something I could totally get into it. Plus I'm excited to add these gift bags to our holiday traditions.

I'll have to add some photos of the final products. I have a suspicion I'll be taking pictures on Christmas day...

Pesky Stored Form Values?

2011-11-11T22:38:00.001-05:00

I had accidentally typed my user name AND password for eBay so anyone someone tried to login to eBay from my computer, my info was all right there...nekkid. And as you can imagine, it was making me crazy. I tried deleting cookies. No good. I complained to my husband who said that I needed to remove the "form value". Well, I still didn't know how the heck I was supposed to do that but that was more than enough information to find a solution courtesy of my good, close friend, Google.

TA DA!

http://www.refreshinglyblue.com/2007/06/01/how-to-delete-saved-form-data-in-firefox/

It worked like a charm! Thank you Refreshingly Blue!

Dare Devil #2

2011-11-06T22:20:00.001-05:00


Two of my girls are complete dare devils. She's one of the two.

2011-11-06T19:56:00.000-05:00

On Friday Kardynn informed me that she wanted a cell phone...at the tender age of 3.75.

Today we got rid of the slide, the "spinny chairs" and their little Flintstones-esque, foot-powered car. Plus we got them all outfitted in ski equipment...as in their very own skis.

They're growing up.

Today's Chat with Annika

2011-11-06T19:28:00.000-05:00

Scribble Scrabble

2011-11-05T12:41:00.003-05:00

Conversation with Kardynn:

"Kiersten wants to read Grampy a Matt book...because she knows how to read. I don't know how to read...[enthusiastically] but I know how to listen...and I know how to scribble scrabble. Autumn doesn't know how to color. She just knows how to sleep."

*scribble scrabble = scribble

Smokey Eyes, ala Heather

2011-10-11T13:46:00.001-05:00

The other day I flipped on the TV and happened to catch a segment on Rachel Ray's show with Tyra Banks. I'm not sure why I had turned the TV because I only had a few minutes but it was long enough to watch Tyra Banks give a quick tutorial on smokey eyes. The following day, I woke up, and feeling all inspired by having watching Tyra's tutorial, I actually put on some make-up.

But within five minutes I realized I had a rare opportunity to go for a quick mid-morning jog because my mom happened to be there and could watch my youngest. I switched to running clothes and went for a little 4 mile jaunt, pretty eye make-up and all. When I got home I took a quick shower because it was now time to drive my mom to the airport. As I was headed out the door, I glanced in the mirror and realized that I now had magnificent smokey eyes. Though I do have to admit my method took a little more time and effort than Tyra's.

Daytime Sky

2011-09-28T22:06:00.001-05:00

Scan198, originally uploaded by hezro.

Annika informed me that this was an x-ray of birds in the sky. Those dots are bugs they've eaten.

Triathlon

2011-09-28T07:59:00.001-05:00

I haven't really mentioned this too much on here...probably because there hasn't been much mentioning going on, period *lowers head shamefully* - but this summer I have been on an exercise mission. After school got out for the summer, my friend Norma and I got up early every morning and we for an hour's bike ride. I was already participating in a beginner triathlon swim class at the gym so I continued to do that twice a week. Once in a blue moon I would also throw in a small jog for good measure. Eventually Norma and I started adding a longer bike ride on the weekends.

This was primarily prompted by my desire to get back in shape. Plus we had been talking about an Engen vs Prouty triathlon race. You may recall that last year I was part of a relay team at last year's Giant Acorn Triathlon. I did the swim leg and pretty much sucked because I didn't really know how to swim. But my teammates were good sports about it and I actually had a good time despite the chagrin of not being a very speedy swimmer. My awesome husband and father-in-law came down to support me so that's how the talk started. *ahem* I may have possibly challenged their family in a head-to-head competition.

Initially we thought that my brother Danny could swim against Justin. And then Bruce and I could go head-to-head on the bike. And then Dwight and my dad would meet on the running course. But then things got switched around. In the fall I took swim lessons. After the triathlon, I realized that I wanted to learn how to swim correctly - with my head in the water. It was so cool when it finally clicked for me and I started swimming laps and kinda looked like a swimmer. And then my brother got a road bike for Christmas. In the Spring Justin confirmed that he wouldn't be able to make it. So, it eventually morphed into this:

Swim: Heather vs Dwight
Bike: Danny vs Bruce
Run: Bob vs Mark

By the time I got our two teams signed up, I had decided to do the entire Sprint on my own. (The relay is for the international distance and the sprint is the following day.) In August I started training in earnest. Since then, six days a week, I've been biking, I've been running, I've been swimming, and sometimes two of the above (known as bricks, in the triathlon world). Two weeks ago I bought a used road bike. And now it's here - the big weekend. I've already picked up our wet suit rentals. On Friday we'll drive down to the house where we're staying for the race. Very exciting!

For a while Dwight has been teasing us that a Team Prouty win would also be a Team Engen win since he's been paying for my swim lessons and Danny's bike was given to him by Engens as well. So I designed some t-shirts, in that spirit.

By the way, I called our team TRI for 60 because my dad turned 60 this year and it's a special treat for my brother and I to get to spend some time with him.

Photography

2011-09-22T20:31:00.000-05:00

Yesterday a strange thing happened to me. Actually, I'm jumping ahead of myself. Let me back up a bit and explain what's been going on.

We're a few weeks into school and lately I can't help but think and wonder about the next chapter in my life. My kids are growing up. Yes, yes, yes, I know my youngest is only three but I have no doubt that before I know it, she'll be headed off to school and I'll be left wondering where the time went. Not to mention, I think I'm a little restless to figure out a plan for what comes next. Remember, I'm a planner.

I had started to toy with the idea of graphic design. I have no doubt that's something I would enjoy. So I considered going back to school and then trying to get a gig as a freelance graphic designer. But I realized that trying to jump straight into freelance work was probably ambitious. I had the good sense to talk to a graphic designer friend and I quickly realized graphic design would not be a good fit for a busy, mother-of-four. We all sat around and brain stormed and once again, my friends encouraged me to pursue photography.

So, I've been thinking more about it and trying to figure out why I hesitate to throw myself into this and really pursue photography. In the meantime, a friend had contacted me about taking some photos for her club and while I was discussing the details with my husband I made a comment about a future point when people might start contacting me to take photos for them. Dwight said, "Heather, that's happening now. People you don't know want you to take photos for them. You need to start charging people."

And I realized with a shock that he's right. And then yesterday I had a moment. I was driving home from exercising and once again thinking about my future and mulling over photography as a career option. I picked up my kids and then happened to notice that my phone was blinking with a message. Someone had called while I was out exercising. I listened to the message and it was someone calling to ask me about taking photographs. Suddenly I felt like maybe the universe has been trying to tell me something and I keep ignoring it.

I love taking photographs. Why am I fighting this?

I'm sure it won't be easy. I'm sure it won't provide the most steady income but hey, something is better than nothing, right?! And maybe it won't work out. But I think I should give it a try. Fortunately I still have lots of time to ease into this.

And did I mention that I love taking pictures?

Today I took step one and started putting together a web site that I can refer people to. Check it out and tell me what you think. http://heatherengen.wordpress.com/

Lace up your Running Shoes

2011-09-02T09:28:00.008-05:00

This summer my kids participated in a running program. My one daughter really takes to running. This past Sunday they had a mock track meet and she walked away with two first place finishes and a second place finish. My other daughter is also fairly speedy, though less competitive. When she would pass me during her races, she would slow down to wave at me and smile. She still managed to get a third place ribbon despite her casual approach to the whole thing. But my proudest moment was actually with my son.

He is *not* a natural-born runner. It's not his passion, it doesn't come easily for him and to be honest, he doesn't even really like it. When the program started, he would run short distances and then stop because his knees were hurting. And he was never enthusiastic when it was time to leave for track practice. But I loved that he always had a good attitude while he was there. He'd run around the track with a smile on his face and my heart would be bursting with pride for this guy who is such a good sport.

At Sunday's track meet, the kids were allowed to sign up for a max of three events and the younger kids were encouraged to sign up for the shorter distances. My little runner signed up for the 100, 200 and 400. The other two were content with the 100 and 200. They all ran their races and they all did great but afterward, my son seemed to have some regrets that he had not tried the 400. So I encouraged him to go do it and I would wait. So he did. He ran around that track by himself, just to prove to himself that he could. And that my friends, was my proudest moment of the entire day.

ISO: An organizational mentor

2011-07-31T22:56:00.000-05:00

I want to purge and simplify my life but I'm having a hard time getting started. Well, that's not completely fair. To be honest I've gotten much better about purging the last few years. But now I want to really go for it...but I can't quite seem to actually do it. I wake up with great intentions, sometimes, for example, I even make it down to the playroom, the site of my greatest intentions. The other day I even grabbed a trash bag and threw a few things in it. And then I stalled. Every time I try to start, I stall. HELP ME! I really, really want to simplify my life. I'm so tired of my house always being a cluttered disaster. How do I do this? Has anyone else been here? How do I begin?

Whose dream is this anyway?

2011-07-24T19:01:00.001-05:00

Hey guys...I've got a few minutes so I thought I would post a little something on the bloggy blog. It's been a busy summer. We've been doing a lot of swimming, some traveling, a lot of exercising (for me) and some soul searching mixed in (also for me). I think I'm at a weird stage in my life. I feel very "in between" these days. The kids are not little but they're not big either. Next year all the kids will be off to school...but only part time. I'm wondering when I should go back to work and what I should be doing when that happens. (Right now I'm leaning towards pursuing graphic design, in case anyone's wondering and wants to share their opinion.) I could ramble on for a bit about all the various ways that I feel "between" things, but I'm short on time so I won't. Mainly because I want to get to the point which is that I think I'm in the midst of a mini little mid-life crisis...of sorts...okay...maybe not a crisis but a minor mid-life scuffle. I live such a blessed life - I *know* that - but it's still not exactly what I thought it would be or even what I want it to be. So I'm trying to figure all of that out.

Oh...too funny...I just IMed with my friend and told her she was living the dream. She responded, "Whose dream?" That perfectly sums up what I'm feeling at this instant. And with that, I'm off to go retrieve my kids. Back to the grind.

Da-niece

2011-07-19T23:14:00.001-05:00

My niece arrived earlier this month and last weekend I had a chance to take a few photos. I didn't actually take as many photos as I would have liked, because several of us were clamoring to hold her.

Little Angels Rock

2011-05-25T12:37:00.019-05:00

Little Angels Rock, originally uploaded by hezro.

I'm a smidge critical of my photography. I don't think I'm supposed to admit this but if I'm being perfectly honestly, I never really like ANY of my pictures. *sigh* For example, today I took a few shots of Little K which I think are just okay. I am suspicious that I might like them better if I could see them minus Heather-the-Photographer filter...but I don't know. Perhaps I would dislike them even more! Ha!

I think the most frustrating thing is that I'm not even sure what I'm unhappy about. I just look at my pictures and think they're not good enough. The white balance is off, the focus isn't sharp, the color isn't fully saturated, the background is distracting...and so on and so forth.

Little Angels Rock, originally uploaded by hezro.

I've even started thinking my camera is messed up...maybe it *is* messed up. I should look carefully at my camera settings and just make sure I didn't accidentally change something. But I have a feeling it's just this weird funk I've been in.

I'm also suspicious that I might be a bit of a perfectionist. But it needs to stop. I just want to go back to taking pictures and enjoying it. I'm getting too caught up worrying about silly stuff that doesn't matter. The important thing is that I'm recording my adorable little children being their wonderful little selves...right?!

Update twenty minutes later:

So here I was, wallowing in this pit of self-loathing. And then I saw this video my cousin posted on Facebook and it made me laugh and realize that I am taking myself WAY TOO SERIOUSLY. She could not have posted this at a more perfect time. Thank you Hilary for giving me some perspective. Ha!

Go Bezerk

2011-05-23T12:00:00.002-05:00

This weekend my sister-in-law and I were talking about this being little K's favorite book. My sister-in-law said, "Yeah, and then one time she told me 'Daddy goes bezerk'." Of course I realized that what little K really meant was that Daddy goes to work!

Tooth Fairy

2011-05-23T11:54:00.003-05:00

Puddles

2011-05-20T09:40:00.005-05:00

I love my daughter's fashion sense. It takes a special person to pull off fire engine rain boots with a glittery, frilly, girlie skirt. Fortunately she *is* a very special person.

She started off on the scooter with these very chic flats, before she wisely switched to the more sensible fire engine rain boots.

At some point she switched from the fire engine rain boots to the equally fashionable striped, green, frog rain boots.

This girl could definitely work the runway...or at least she'd have no trouble with the speedy behind-the-scenes wardrobe changes!

Tasmania

2011-05-20T07:35:00.019-05:00

O Boy's class is studying Australia right now. This works out well because O Boy is currently obsessed with his World Atlas and he already happened to be reading up on Australia on his own.

Why has he been reading up on Australia, you ask? Well, his favorite country is actually Indonesia. Though, to say that Indonesia is his favorite country doesn't accurately depict his current enthusiasm for Indonesia. He's reading everything he can about Indonesia. He googled "how to speak Indonesian" in hopes that he really would learn. He's been checking out books out from the library. He spends hours studying Indonesia on Google Earth. He wants to know everything about Indonesia and he actually does know quite a bit. He can tell you about Indonesian economy, vegetation, agriculture, et cetera. At some point someone mentioned to him that Indonesia is dangerous so, since he plans to live in Indonesia when he's an adult, he has also carefully researched several escape routes. And seeing as how Australia is fairly close to Indonesia, naturally he's checked into Australia as a potential destination, should there be any natural disasters while he's living in Indonesia.

The other day he came home from school upset because ALLEGEDLY his teacher had told them that Tasmania is a territory, not a state. We looked it up online and sure enough, Tasmania is one of Australia's six states (and there are two territories: Northern Territory and Australian Capital Territory).

Part of me suspected that he might have misunderstood what the teacher said since they *are* studying Australia in class, after all. But I said, "Well, O Boy, if you get marked wrong for putting that on the test, Mommy will fight for you. But otherwise, don't worry about it." And that was that. Or so I thought until this morning when I looked over the homework O Boy is returning to school today.

(And let me just say right up front, yes, yes, I see that there are quite a few mistakes. This week I've been a bit out of commission so the kids were left to fend for themselves on a lot of fronts. Oops!)

In australia, I would see kangaroos. I can also see koalas, too. I could see wambats or seals. I could go to antartican territory. I can study an australian map. I would learn tasmania is a state. I would learn northern territory is a territory.

May Flowers

2011-05-07T21:58:00.002-05:00

Today I downloaded...*ahem*...a couple week's worth of photos off my camera, plus I perused about a month's worth of photos that I haven't really looked at. I've been so stinking busy. It's sad. So going through these photos was just like the old days when you'd drop a roll of film off to get processed and then you'd have so much fun flipping through them when you'd get them back. Fortunately for me, I rarely post process photos so I didn't have the anxiety of "being behind" that flipping through a month's worth of ignored photos might have caused some people. I just enjoyed looking through them and seeing what we had been up to. I uploaded a few to my Facebook photography page.

It was nice to look back through these photos because I think it helped rekindle a bit of my love affair with photography. Lately I just haven't been feeling it. I've not taken a lot of photos. Of course, my version of not taking a lot of photos means I don't have two dozen photos every single day. *hehe* And there are even several days with no photo at all. *GASP* But looking back through these photos made me feel like pulling the camera out again.

While I perusing some more photos this evening, it occurred to me to go check out the Focus 52 prompt for this week and see if I had any that fit the bill. And well...what do you know...the prompt was May flowers. And probably my two favorite series of shots from this week actually had a flower connection.

Last weekend we did a bunch of landscaping so all this week we've been watering like crazy. My kids like to help water. Well let's be real, they want access to the hose and if that means aiming it at some crazy plants their parents planted around the house, so be it. So here's my daughter watering some of our new flowering shrubs.

(And then after I said that I don't post process, I went right to Photoshop and adjusted the curves on this. *hehe*)

The second photo is actually of a cake...but there is a flower connection, I promise. A few weeks ago my mom turned 60. That's a pretty big deal, right? I wanted to do something special for her so I started planning to present her with a birthday cake at a little soiree that I would be hosting. Plus my brother and his wife and my husband and I DID take her out to dinner on her birthday but that actually turned into a big fiasco. I got super light-headed and had to leave dinner early. But anyway, back to her birthday. I ordered a special cake for her and yesterday evening, at my little soiree, I presented her with the birthday/mother's day cake. And then today I took the bottom layer to my mother-in-law's house and we got to enjoy the mother's day cake with her as well.

See, I told you there was a flower tie-in!

So there you go...my two flower photos for this week.

Crayola Markers

2011-05-05T11:50:00.000-05:00

On New Years Eve, we went to the Crayola Factory at Two Rivers Landing with Dwight's aunt and uncle. We had a ton of fun and I definitely would recommend this museum, if you happen to be in the area. BUT...there's one thing that I walked away with that I MUST share. They told us how to save markers that have been left without the lid. You put them in water for like 20-30 seconds, recap them and then let them sit overnight tip-down. It works like a charm.

Mavericks

2011-05-02T22:46:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here on the couch watching my beloved Dallas Mavericks take on the Lakers. Dwight is sitting here watching with me. It's hard to describe how much I love these guys, to someone who is not a sports fan. But I'm pretty sure any sports fan gets it.

So I'm wishing my guys lots of luck and hoping for the best!

Blossom Buds

2011-04-07T07:42:00.002-05:00

DSC_9944-fb, originally uploaded by hezro.

Oh...I guess I never posted any other blossom photos. Well, I have a few in my Flickr stream and even more on my Facebook page but here's another one of my favorites. This was taken before the buds were really opening up.

Pear Blossoms

2011-04-07T07:41:00.001-05:00

DSC_0111-fb, originally uploaded by hezro.

I think this is my favorite blossom photo so far. It was such a pretty blue sky that day!

The Traveling Olympus

2011-04-06T09:27:00.001-05:00

I'm so excited that Rachel asked me to be a part of this. But I have to admit that shooting film again makes me a little nervous. It's been so long. I think you can be a little lazy with digital. You can mess around and try out different things and then decide what you like best. But when you only have three shots...you'd better get it right on the first try. Scary!

Lip Gloss

2011-03-31T09:14:00.001-05:00

My girls love chapstick, lip gloss, lip stick - anything to do with lips. So I couldn't help but chuckle when I saw this drawing lying around. (Courtesy of Kiersten)

Autumn Heather

2011-03-30T19:18:00.005-05:00

One of the most special things happening this year is the impending arrival of my little niece. I can't wait to hold her...and take her picture, of course!

Busy

2011-03-30T07:19:00.006-05:00

Yesterday I decided that I am FINALLY going to do another layout. As you may recall, I signed up to do Focus52, with the intent of doing one layout a week. We're already thirteen weeks into the year so I should have about thirteen layouts, right? Guess how many layouts I've done? Three. *shh* Yes, that's right. I said three. I've finished three layouts.

So last night I sat down feeling all inspired to do a layout, with grand ideas about trying to get caught back up even. I popped over to Jan's page and saw that the prompt for this week is silly. However, I wasn't feeling the word silly. So I started writing about something else. And to be frank, it wouldn't have mattered WHAT the prompt was, the thing on my mind was that I was ten weeks behind schedule...and WHY I was ten weeks behind schedule. I started writing about my crazy life and about how I'm getting my kids from one place to another all day long and my schedule changes from day-to-day which makes it even more confusing and complicated.

When I had finished my journaling and was starting to think about embellishing my page, it suddenly struck me that this all seemed a little familiar...very familiar, in fact. So I looked back at those three completed layouts - and this is where silly DOES end up coming into play. ahem I already did a layout about my crazy schedule. I've now completed four layouts this year, and half of them are about my crazy schedule.

But I think that's fitting. That's where my life is at right now.

(But next I hope to do a layout that isn't about my schedule.)

Vacation Vacation Vacation

2011-03-06T11:56:00.004-05:00

I'm on vacation. I mean, I'm *really* on vacation because it's just me and my husband. I don't have to take care of anyone else for an entire nine days. Imagine that?! Nine days of vacation from being a mommy. It wouldn't really matter where I was, I'd be enjoying that. But we actually ARE somewhere amazing. We're here in Keystone, Colorado enjoying the best of what winter has to offer.

I've been reluctant to call home and ask for the kids because I didn't want to upset the apple cart, so to speak. If they're happy, best to leave them be. But yesterday I got a phone call from home and I asked to talk to them. The instant I heard my son's voice, I realized just how much I miss those little tykes. I don't miss all the work that comes with them but I sure do miss the wonderful little people that they are and the overflowing love that they bring into my life.

Having said that, I had to chuckle yesterday when I saw what my cousin posted to her Facebook page. (This is the cousin who's watching the kids while we're here on vacation.)

That really made me chuckle. I immediately thought, "Welcome to my world!"

Although, I have to tell you, it surprised me a little because I kept thinking, she's young, surely she'll have the energy and stamina to last a week with these kids. But, nope, even my 18 year-old cousin is worn out by the little tykes! And I'm choosing to be flattered by that (as well as trying to not feel guilty for possibly throwing her in over her head).

I think I've remarked before on the frequency that people praise me for the job I'm doing. I'm always mystified by that because what I frequently focus on are the many ways I believe that I'm failing my children. But I think maybe people realize that just surviving the day is a feat worthy of celebration. *hehe* Maybe now I can start realizing that too.

The Village

2011-03-06T10:47:00.001-05:00

HPE_0255, originally uploaded by hezro.

River Run Village

2011-03-06T10:46:00.001-05:00

HPE_0248, originally uploaded by hezro.

Lake Dillon

2011-03-06T10:45:00.001-05:00

P3040079, originally uploaded by hezro.

Mozart

2011-03-06T10:44:00.001-05:00

P3040038, originally uploaded by hezro.

Ski Vacation

2011-03-06T10:43:00.001-05:00

P3030070, originally uploaded by hezro.

The hubby and I are on vacation for a week...sans children. I do miss my children but I'd by lying if I said I wasn't enjoying a break from Mommy Duties.

We're staying at Keystone ski resort in Colorado. We skied three days and now we're in the middle of a two-day break before we enjoy our last two days on the slope. It snowed on day two but otherwise, the weather has been glorious. And of course, even though it was cold while it was skiing, we certainly enjoyed the fresh snow.

When it rains...

2011-02-21T00:27:00.001-05:00

The kids and I went to the fire station to take Uncle Danny some lime juice for a salad he was making.

Afterwards we stopped by the shopping center...

...specifically Taco Bell.

I'm a sucker for wet pavement. Can you tell?

Questions

2011-02-16T08:25:00.003-05:00

I was washing dishes and Little K was eating breakfast. She asked me to come to her because she wanted to see me while she talked to me. I walked over and she said, "What's my question?" I said, "I don't know. It's your question." She became quite agitated. I said, "It's okay, you can ask me when you remember." She cried, "But I can't remember still." Suddenly her face lit up and she said, "I remembered my question! It's something I don't know!" And that was it. End of conversation.

My Scrabble Strategy

2011-02-15T10:13:00.010-05:00

I grew up in a family of Scrabble players...well...my extended family. When I was a teenager, I expressed some interest in trying to play and Dad said, "You need to memorize the two and three letter words first." You think I'm kidding? Grandma handed me a photocopy with lists of words for me to learn. Needless to say, I did not start playing Scrabble when I was a teenager.

About a year ago I started playing Scrabulous on Facebook. At first I would call Dad up on the phone and say, "I have XYZ letters and I really think they should make a word". ("XYZ letters" hahahaha That makes me laugh. But I digress.) Later I started double checking myself on wineverygame.com. After I would finish my play, I would check my letters to see if I could have gotten a bingo. Usually I can tell when my letters ought to be able to make something, and the frustrating thing is that more times than not, sure enough, they WOULD have spelled a bingo. I don't get so annoyed when it's a word I don't know but I do beat myself up when it's a word I do know - or worse - an easy word. So I don't check very often anymore. Every once in a while, when I KNOW there has to be a word and I can't see it, I might go check afterwards. But I'm really too lazy to be bothered - plus it's kinda depressing.

Facebook Scrabble works well for me because it won't accept words that aren't legit - which does happen to me on occasion. If fact, just the other day I was shocked by a word that ought to exist but apparently doesn't!! :) And I have to admit that I'm forever "trying" words in the dictionary. I've gotten pretty good at assembling words into likely patterns and I frequently stumble onto words I didn't know - I'm sure the purists would be aghast. Today I saw that my letters spelled "STRAWED" so what the heck, I gave it a try and sure enough - I got the bingo. (Sorry Hil.)

When I'm looking for a bingo, I almost always start with the end of the word. I look for common endings and then switch around the other letters in front of that. The nice thing is then you really only need to find a four or five letter word to go in front of ING or ED or IER or whatever it might be. Frequently after having spent a while working with ER at the end of a word, I remember that RE can also be the start of a word. *hehe*

What's amazing to me is how much easier it has gotten to spot bingoes. Now my big frustration is that I'll find the bingo in my rack but then there's no place to put it on the board. Sometimes I'll have really great letters and can find several bingoes, but no still no place to put any them. That kills me.

So anyway, I'm going to pass along the tricks that I learned from my dad. I think there are different strategies but Dad is always going for the bingo. He figures that if you get a few bingoes, you're likely to win the game. So primarily I try to play that way too. I'm not too worried about putting high value letters in primo places (though it's nice, don't get me wrong). If I get an X or a Z or a Q or a J - I always try to get rid of it right away because it's hard to get bingoes with those letters and that's my ultimate plan. I think Dad told me his favorite letters are SEITR and the blank, of course. So I started trying to hang on to those, whenever possible. Later on I read online that the best letters for a bingo are considered to RETAIN + blank because you can get a TON of words out of that. And it's so handy to remember, right?! Of course I'll always hang on to an S too because they're great for placing bingoes.

I know there are other schools of thought out there but there you go...that's mine. Dad told me that Grandma hangs on to UI until the Q gets played. And maybe you should listen to Grandma because right now she's kicking my butt 329 to 164.

(I figured I'd better blur out the tiles on my rack so she doesn't use that info against me.)

Overheard at Breakfast

2011-02-15T08:16:00.004-05:00

A Girl, "Little K, I know you might not remember this but how come you didn't turn upside down in Mommy's tummy?"
Little K, "Because it hurt my arm."

Valentines

2011-02-14T22:03:00.005-05:00

Earlier today my sweet friend called me up and asked if I had plans. She said that she was going to doll me up for Valentines Day. She was going to sexy-ify me for the evening. Cool. So she did - she came over and prettied me up. My favorite quotable was when she said something to the effect of "Heather, just try to be girlie." *haha* It's true. I'm so not a girlie-girl. I have three daughters and I'm still a huge tomboy. Yikes! Anyway, she made my hair all pretty and put make up on me and then rushed out the door for a date with her own hubby.

And then I checked my phone and there was a text from the hubby, "I'm going to Hunters game. I tried to call you like 5 times :-( anyway, I'll c you tonight."

Story of my life.

Now We Are Thirty-Six

2011-02-11T22:28:00.008-05:00

One of my very treasured possessions is this beat up book from when I was a little girl.

The title poem is in the back.

As you can see the final verse has been scratched out. For a few years it was tradition that my dad would come up with a new little verse to mark the passing years. The back cover has another verse penned out from when I turned nine. Anyway, that's the back story to this year's very special birthday poem.

Heather, On Motherhood (subtitled, Many the Poo)

When I was 31, I wondered what I'd done.
When I was 32, I barely knew what to do.
When I was 33, I had no time for me.
When I was 34, I had one baby more.
When I was 35, I just tried to survive.
But now I am 36, I'm as clever as clever.
I think I'll be 36 now for ever and ever.

And because I'm super douper lucky, I got a second poem:

Ramshackle Heart

You inhabit every corner of
This ramshackle heart of mine,
Walls without clocks and doors without locks
And love wrapping round like a vine.

For the doors are simply memories
And the windows but a view
Of moments of grace that are holding in place
This heart you can see right through.

And often a door falls open,
And another door, and then...
There's my little girl at five years old;
There's my little girl at ten.

There's my little baby all grown up
With babies of her own
And wondering to herself, no doubt,
At how much they have grown.

And though you may not hear from me,
My heart has heard from you...
This ramshackle heart would have fallen apart
If those messages didn't come through.

A door, a door, another door,
There is no foretelling when,
And there you are, and there you are,
Yes, and there you are again.

Summer

2011-02-10T23:23:00.001-05:00

DSC_4246, originally uploaded by hezro.

I'm looking back through my Flickr stream and when I hit these photos of us out for a bike ride one evening, I realized that I'm so ready for the return of warmer weather and longer days! I'm looking forward to this summer...I plan to have a lot of fun with the kids!

Coming Up for Air

2011-02-08T22:49:00.013-05:00

This summer I had a scary experience in the ocean. I had been on the shore supervising the kids while the guys played around on boogie boards in the water. There was a hurricane headed our way and that meant big waves for the guys to play in. When they finally came back, I asked Dwight to watch the kids while I went for a quick swim. My father-in-law went out with me.

Before I knew it, I was in over my head - quite literally. The water was very turbulent and I felt like I was getting pulled all different directions. I got a little separated from my father-in-law. He was only about ten feet away but I could not get back to him. He could touch but I couldn't, so the undertow was having its way with me. Eventually I drifted to a spot where I was able to touch between waves. But I was quite tired by this point. I was trying to dive under the waves but they were coming in so fast and so violently that I barely had time to recoup between them. One of the waves pulled my swim skirt down to my knees. Several times I swallowed water.

I got scared.

There was a deeper channel between me and the shore and I questioned whether or not I could make it across. I was nervous to leave the relative safety of the little sand bar where I could touch between waves. I thought the lifeguard was watching me and I considered flailing my arms to get his attention...but I didn't. Maybe I was embarrassed. Maybe I was proud. I think mainly I just didn't really believe I was in trouble. I thought I would be okay and that I could make it back. But I was scared. I looked for my husband on the shore. I tried shouting his name but of course he couldn't hear me. I quietly said, "help."

The happy ending to that story is that around that same time I decided to just swim to the freakin' shore. And I was fine. I don't know why I thought that would be a problem. When I reached the beach, I collapsed on the sand. The lifeguard came by to see if I was okay because he had in fact been watching me.

-----

Tonight I sat quietly in my room with a million frustrated thoughts running through my head. I had a miserable day. I drove to the gym and realized I never dropped my daughter off at preschool. I considered just taking her to the gym with me but instead I turned around and dropped her off at school. As I was walking out of there, I realized that I still had her coat in my hand, which meant yet another U-Turn. When I went back to pick her up, I opened my car door and the wind blew it out of my hand and slammed it into the car next to mine...and left a surprisingly large ding in that car. I tracked down the owner. Later my daughter crawled under my desk and crashed my computer. It took me about an hour and a half to get it back online. My kids made one huge mess and one large mess. I messed up the soup I made for supper. Blah, blah, blah. You get the idea.

So like I said, I was feeling frustrated and sitting in my room wallowing in it a little. And I whispered the words, "Help". That suddenly took me back to that other day when I was in the ocean and fighting to keep my head above water. I had an epiphany. What is it about me that I can't let people know when I need help? Why do I let myself get in over my head?

It feels very cliche to mention yet again how hard it is to be a mother but goshdarnit, this parenting business is tough. And I wasn't prepared for what a poor job I would do of it, either. Or maybe it's more accurate to say that I'm not living up the expectations I had created for myself.

My husband always accuses me of being whiny when I force him to read these posts. I'm sure he'll say that again when I make him read this one. So I'll own it. You're right. I'm being whiny. I'm not ready to stop wallowing in it just yet. But maybe tomorrow the waters will be calm. And you know what, most days I do realize that I'm darn lucky to be swimming in this ocean. But yeah, today the water was rough and that's okay. Sometimes the water gets rough.

Things Are Not Always What They Seem...

2011-02-02T09:46:00.004-05:00

A few months ago my five year-old started getting into food. We've tried various tactics to get her to stop, with moderate success. For the most part she's not been doing it but every now and again we see that she's slipped into old habits. Just last night I discovered a tupperware of pretzel treats at the foot of her bed under the sheets. We had a talk with her and explained that we don't want her getting into food because she could get into something dangerous - something that she shouldn't be eating. What we didn't realize at that time was that she'd already learned a lesson about things that look like food but aren't food.

This morning I found an empty wrapper in her room and the subsequent investigation lead me to a trashcan where I found this:

Not-so-yummy soap, originally uploaded by hezro.

Apparently she thought it was a chocolate bar.

Cleaning Solution

2011-02-01T23:30:00.000-05:00

A few years ago I bought some cleaning solution from a door-to-door salesman. The guy peddled his wares and showed how this wonderful solution could turn your tennis shoes white again, could get the green mildew off your patio, could clean your carpets. And it was non-toxic - totally safe to use around kids. You could spray it on your hands and no worries. So I bought some. And then I'm embarassed to admit that it sat for years under my kitchen sink...taking up precious real estate. But recently I hauled it out and decided to use up the darn stuff. And here's the thing. It sits on my counter taunting me. Because I kid you not, every time I see it, I can't help but recall The Emperor's New Clothes. I have to wonder, did all those things come clean because of this wonder solution or did they come clean because he used a little elbow grease? I'm thinking it was the latter. And in the meantime I intend to get my money's worth from my cleaning solution...which I guess means I have a lot of elbow grease in my future.

Coconut Banana Bread with Lime Glaze

2011-01-29T13:41:00.003-05:00

Coconut Banana Bread with Lime Glaze, originally uploaded by hezro.

Apparently I like taking pictures of food. Ha!

That means my family is benefiting from the food I've been photographing and you guys are benefiting from the recipes I've been posting. Or you SHOULD be - I can't help you if you don't try making all these delicious foods. :)

This recipe actually comes at you from the Jen that I mentioned in my Play Dough post. I just found it online as well so this is text that I've copied from myrecipes.com.

Coconut Banana Bread with Lime Glaze

The tangy lime glaze cuts the sweetness of the bread. Substitute apple juice for the rum if you prefer.

Yield: 1 loaf, 16 servings (serving size: 1 slice)
Ingredients

* 2 cups all-purpose flour
* 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1 cup granulated sugar
* 1/4 cup butter, softened
* 2 large eggs
* 1 1/2 cups mashed ripe banana (about 3 bananas)
* 1/4 cup plain low-fat yogurt
* 3 tablespoons dark rum
* 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 1/2 cup flaked sweetened coconut
* Cooking spray
* 1 tablespoon flaked sweetened coconut
* 1/2 cup powdered sugar
* 1 1/2 tablespoons fresh lime or lemon juice

Preparation

Preheat oven to 350°.

Lightly spoon the flour into dry measuring cups, and level with a knife. Combine the flour, baking soda, and salt, stirring with a whisk to combine.

Place granulated sugar and butter in a large bowl; beat with a mixer at medium speed until well blended (about 1 minute). Add the eggs, 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Add banana, yogurt, rum, and vanilla; beat until blended. Add flour mixture; beat at low speed just until moist. Stir in 1/2 cup coconut. Spoon batter into a 9 x 5-inch loaf pan coated with cooking spray; sprinkle with 1 tablespoon coconut. Bake at 350° for 1 hour or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes in pan on a wire rack; remove from pan. Combine powdered sugar and juice, stirring with a whisk; drizzle over warm bread. Cool bread completely on wire rack.
Nutritional Information

Calories:   193 (21% from fat)
Fat:   4.6g (sat 2.8g,mono 1.1g,poly 0.3g)
Protein:   2.9g
Carbohydrate:   35g
Fiber:   1.1g
Cholesterol:   35mg
Iron:   1mg
Sodium:   179mg
Calcium:   15mg

Cooking Light, SEPTEMBER 2003

Play Dough

2011-01-29T12:24:00.002-05:00

Feb 10, originally uploaded by hezro.

This is the recipe I got from my daughter's preschool.

2 cups flour
1 cup salt
2 cups water
4 tsp Cream of Tartar
3 or 4 tbsp oil
Food coloring, if desired

Mix all ingredients in pot over stove until proper consistency. Stir throughout cooking process. Store in plastic Ziploc bag.

I actually do something a little different, thanks to a tip from my friend Jen. Instead of food coloring, I add a packet of Kool Aid mix. It adds wonderful color and smells great too.

Cream of Broccoli Soup

2011-01-27T16:08:00.005-05:00

Cream of Broccoli Soup, originally uploaded by hezro.

We went to Dwight's aunt's house for Thanksgiving. One evening she made Cream of Broccoli soup and it was so yummy! I asked her how she makes it and she said, "Oh...I don't follow a recipe...a little of this, a little of that." Which of course didn't really help me make my own Cream of Broccoli soup. Her daughter told me that she puts lemon and sour cream in so I googled for a recipe that had lemon and sour cream.

I never did find that but I did find a recipe which I've now made several times and I think it's pretty darn good. The kids even like it so that says A LOT. In fact, even Dwight will eat it which really says a lot. Honestly though, that shouldn't be a surprise since the reicpe has a 4.5 star average after 499 reviews on AllRecipes.com.

It's good just the way it is but I've also modified it a little just because of what we had in the fridge and it seems to be a pretty forgiving recipes. I tried to do it ala Aunt Esther with lemon and sour cream and that was good. I've used heavy cream instead of milk - yummy. I've used half evaporated milk and half regular milk - yummy. Today we had it for lunch and I threw some shredded cheese on top - yummy.

If you like cream of broccoli soup, definitely give this a try:

Ingredients

* 2 tablespoons butter
* 1 onion, chopped
* 1 stalk celery, chopped
* 3 cups chicken broth
* 8 cups broccoli florets
* 3 tablespoons butter
* 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
* 2 cups milk
* ground black pepper to taste

Directions

1. Melt 2 tablespoons butter in medium sized stock pot, and saute onion and celery until tender. Add broccoli and broth, cover and simmer for 10 minutes.
2. Pour the soup into a blender, filling the pitcher no more than halfway full. Hold down the lid of the blender with a folded kitchen towel, and carefully start the blender, using a few quick pulses to get the soup moving before leaving it on to puree. Puree in batches until smooth and pour into a clean pot. Alternately, you can use a stick blender and puree the soup right in the cooking pot.
3. In small saucepan, over medium-heat melt 3 tablespoons butter, stir in flour and add milk. Stir until thick and bubbly, and add to soup. Season with pepper and serve.

Source:
http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/best-cream-of-broccoli-soup/Detail.aspx

Sweet Treats

2011-01-22T17:20:00.009-05:00

I submitted this for my Focus52 project for the week. The prompt for this week was "cold". This might not seem like it has anything to do with cold but making these treats was how we entertained ourselves on a snow day so there you go...that fits, right?! *hehe* But actually I have to admit that my intentions ARE suspect. I did another layout today (see below) which fit better with my project objectives, but this is the one I submitted because....well...I liked the pictures. Yep, vanity at its best.

To be honest, we're at week 3 and I'm hitting a wall. Is that a good sign or a bad sign? Here's the deal: I'm pretty sure I'm a better photographer than scrapbooker...and it's frustrating. I feel like my layouts are kind of dull and they're all the same. But if I try to get too "artsy" with them, it just doesn't feel authentic. I dunno. I tell myself that if nothing else, the story is getting told, and that's what matters, right?

Sweet Treats, originally uploaded by hezro.

Calendar Girl

2011-01-22T15:00:00.001-05:00

02.schedule, originally uploaded by hezro.

Candy Cane

2011-01-21T13:22:00.001-05:00

Candy Cane, originally uploaded by hezro.

Before the holidays I had big plans to make little holiday candies for my neighbors. I bought the necessary ingredients, I bought mason jars to put them in, I bought candy canes to tie to the jars. And that's as far as I got. The holidays came and went and I still had a big bag full of supplies. So I decided to just go ahead and do it anyway. We made our first batch earlier this week and delivered them to all the neighbors who are home during the day. This evening we'll deliver the second batch to all the neighbors who aren't home during the day. I figure I'm just extending the holiday cheer for a few weeks. Maybe I'll do this again next year on purpose...because I want to extend the Season...yeah...that's it.

Pie

2011-01-21T13:20:00.000-05:00

Pie, originally uploaded by hezro.

My brother gave us a pumpkin pie that he had baked. It tastes even better than it looks.

My hubby doin' his thing...

2011-01-19T21:58:00.001-05:00

My hubby..., originally uploaded by hezro.

I love this photo of my husband because it's *so* him. He's my computer wizard. More times than I can count, I've asked him to come look at something on my computer only to have the computer work perfectly when he arrives. So I joke that the computer doesn't dare act up in his presence...only it's not really a joke.

Begin

2011-01-17T00:20:00.007-05:00

Begin, originally uploaded by hezro.

I started working on this post on Thursday, per my previous post.

And typical for my life, that launched me onto a completely different project. I was looking for photos to use and the only high-res photo I could find was this little gem from our first Halloween together.

So that launched me into a photo scanning project. Now, three days and two boxes of photos later, I've scanned all of my prints until the middle of 2000. The exciting thing is that by the end of 2000 I had a digital camera. So only half a year of photos to go. Yipee! (I do have two albums of prints from my wedding but still, the end is in sight.)

It actually wasn't too bad. I used the continuous scan function on VueScan and I watched about 30 episodes of Arrested Development courtesy of Netflix.com (before I finally switched to Monarch of the Glen, which I'm watching right now, as a matter of fact). Honestly I would have kept going with the scanning but I was getting serious carpal tunnel in my wrist from switching out the photos...I'm not kidding. But on the up side, I got to finish my first layout for my Focus52 project. And I'm looking forward to fifty-one more layouts of the important...and unimportant things in my life.

Focus 52

2011-01-13T18:16:00.003-05:00

A few days (weeks?) ago I signed up to be part of Focus 52. Jan over at twoscoopz put me up to it and I'm glad she did. But let me confess that I haven't actually started yet. I knew it was something I wanted to do but I wasn't exactly sure WHAT I wanted to do. The obvious thing would be for me to take photos. But you know...I've taken photos most days since July 2003 so that's not really stretching my creativity. I'm not saying I get fantastic photos every day but you know, I just wasn't feeling it on the photography front...or at least not JUST photography. Because to be perfectly honest, I'm trying to learn to NOT take my camera with me everywhere I go. So doing a POTW didn't feel particularly ambitious or helpful.

In that case, what to do? At the rate I've been going, I probably could have settled for one blog post a week and that would have been an accomplishment. *hehe* Yes, I've been a bit of a slacker lately. But I'm actually going to be even more ambitious than that. Here's the plan: I want to do one digiscrap layout a week AND I want them to be about the everyday things in our lives (my life?). How awesome would it be - twenty years from now - to read up on what our current daily schedule is...or how I *really* feel about cooking...or even things from our family history like how Dwight and I came to be...or how I came to be driving a minivan. Maybe those will be tales my kids can connect with when they're embarking on this adventure called Parenting. So that's the plan. At the end of the day...err...year, I think I'll walk away with something incredibly valuable to me. And in the meantime, I think the weekly creative outlet will be good for me. Perhaps I can even work in Jan's weekly prompts?

So now that I've figured out what I'm doing, I have plans to get started TONIGHT...and I'd better hurry up and get two layouts done because week 3 is right around the corner!

Pomegranate Chicken

2011-01-11T17:02:00.001-05:00

Okay, I'm going crazy posting recipes. I tried making a vegetarian version of Mrs NilsenLife's Pomegranate Chicken. I thought it was pretty yummy though I have to be honest and tell you that part of what makes it memorable for me was the vibrant colors. Yummy!

Cabbage and Veggie Soup

2011-01-11T16:56:00.007-05:00

Someone also asked for my soup recipe. Mom? Was it you Mom?

I'm addicted to this soup. My brother makes an awesome cabbage soup and mine pales in comparison, but I'm addicted nonetheless. I googled for a cabbage and beef soup recipe so I used that as my base but now I've ventured away from that one a bit. Here's my version of Danny's soup:

1 pkg frozen morningstar recipe crumblers (or whatever they're called). I've used the Boca ones too but I prefer the Morningstar ones.

8-12 cloves of garlic sliced thin...well some of it chopped up but some of it sliced.

1 onion (I always use sweet onions because they don't make me tear up like yellow onions do)

2 stalks celery, chopped (if a stalk is an entire "bunch" then I don't use a stalk. But if a stalk is just one stick then I use more. Probably about 4 sticks.)

1 (16 oz) can kidney beans, undrained

1 head cabbage, chopped (not too small) and don't remove the stem. Only cut off the dry, dark part on the bottom because otherwise, it's the best part of the soup.

1 (28 oz) can diced tomatoes, liquid reserved

1 can tomato paste (I usually use the small but I've used the big too and it was still good - just a little more tomato-y)

Several cans of water or broth. I sometimes use vegetarian broth (I like the Wolfgang Puck one) but almost always add water too. Basically just get it to the consistency you want. And then add some GW Broth or McKay's or whatever seasoning you like. Even when I use broth, I still add some seasoning. My brother doesn't do the seasoning and adds a de-veined jalapeno but I'm too lazy for all that. My brother adds green pepper. I'm not a huge green pepper fan but I don't mind it in this. He also adds a little olive oil and vegetable oil. Sometimes I saute the onions and garlic and those times I'm more likely to add the oils. Other times I don't add any at all. The recipe I have calls for garlic salt, garlic powder and black pepper. Sometimes I add some/all of those...sometimes I don't. I guess you can add parsley. Never tried that. My brother adds five bay leaves so sometimes I throw in a few of those.

This is a very forgiving soup, as you're probably realizing. *hehe*

1. In a large pot (very large!! I was using my 8 QT pot and was unable to put as much water as I wanted because it wasn't quite big enough) or dutch oven, brown beef and onion (not necessary for vege burger).
2. Add all ingredients except parsley.
3. Bring to a boil.
4. Reduce heat and simmer, covered, for 1 hour. (Danny only does 45 minutes and I'm always impatient to get eating so I only do 45 minutes too).
5. You may add extra water if you like a thinner soup. (Well this recipe only says one can of water so you're already doing that, if you're following my instructions.)
6. Garnish with parsley to serve.

Great Apple Cake

2011-01-11T16:44:00.001-05:00

This is probably my favorite cake. And people who try it always seem to like it. I was recently asked to share the recipe so here it is. Thank you to my friend Christina for sharing this cake - and recipe - with me a decade ago. The last time I made it I actually managed to get it out of the pan but I didn't think to take pictures. Oh well.

Cream:

1 cup oil

2 cups sugar

Beat:

3 eggs

1 tbsp vanilla

Mix:

3 cups flour

1 tsp salt

1 tsp baking soda

Fold in:

1 cup walnuts

3 cups chopped (& peeled) apples

Optional:

1/2 tsp each of cloves, cinnamon & nutmeg

Bake in an angel food cake pan at 350 degrees for 1 hour. After cooled 10 minutes pour sauce on top.

Sauce:

1 cup brown sugar

1/4 cup milk

3/4 STICK of butter

Bring to a boil, then cook for 3 minutes. Pour over cake (still in pan) and let stand overnight for 24 hours.

Fire the Hole

2011-01-06T10:21:00.005-05:00

The girls are playing down in the basement. I heard one of them pushing the buttons on their fire truck and then A Girl shouted, "Fire in the hole". Where do they learn these things?

Last night Auntie A came over to watch the kids. She had some funny conversations with the kids. They're fascinated about their new cousin-to-be so many amusing conversations revolved around that. See below for a picture K Girl drew a picture for Auntie A of the four kids spending time with her and Uncle D (and the new baby, of course).

She also wanted to give Auntie A stickers for the baby. Auntie A explained that it's still a long time until the baby will be born. O Boy pipes up, "Well, you could eat the stickers so the baby could have them right now." Auntie A decided to just accept the stickers and not field additional - and perhaps more delicate - questions on that topic.

In the meantime, Little K has been telling us that her new baby doll came from her tummy. Last night she informed Auntie A that her baby doll is named "Baby Jesus". Ahh...the danger of giving your child a doll for Christmas.

A Girl got a doll too. She has named her doll "Annika G".
I said, "Oh, it's good that your doll has a different last name."
A Girl, "No, she has the same last name. But I'm Annika E. and she's Annika G. so that you can tell us apart."

Savoring the Moment

2011-01-04T11:33:00.000-05:00

I made the girls some brunch (because lunch is served at 10:30 am for my PM Kindergartener) and had the following conversation with Kiersten:

K: Thanks Mom!
H: Thanks for what?
K: Thanks for everything you do.

Warms a mother's heart.

Unfiltered

2010-12-08T11:56:00.000-05:00

A friend and I were chatting this morning and somehow we ended up discussing the fact that I have no filters. It's so true. And I think I've gotten worse since I've become a stay-at-home-mom. I no longer recall how to properly function in normal, adult mode. So we joked that I'm "unfiltered" and I thought that could have been a good alternate name for this blog. "Unfiltered"...maybe we could even work a little photo-related tagline...let's see..."Unfiltered...except for the UV one on my lens." Hmm...better work on that. Perhaps someday I'll actually learn to edit my writing and stop with the stream of consciousness posts. But then I don't think we could call this blog "Unfiltered" anymore.

In the meantime, back to my mommy duties. The kitchen counters are atrocious and there's scads of laundry to be done. Plus I need to comb my little girl's hair before driving her to school.

Holiday Photos

2010-12-08T08:46:00.000-05:00

My lack of activity on here is a symptom of my increase of activity in real life. One fun thing is that I've taken holiday photos for several of my friends. I don't want to share them now because I want to let them unveil them on their own. But after the holidays maybe I can share a few of my favorite shots from these various sessions.

Meanwhile, holiday photos of my own family have been a disaster. It's very frustrating. I know the shot I want to get, but it's very hard to take it and be in it at the same time. *sigh*

Pretty One

2010-12-07T23:41:00.001-05:00

Today the girls were describing themselves at breakfast. A Girl said, "I'm the silly one." Little K said she was the cute one and K Girl piped up, "I'm the pretty one." I nearly choked on my tea. What have I done these girls?! I wanted to make sure they had healthy self esteems. Oh...they have healthy self esteems alright. They're downright arrogant, in fact. I'm trying to back pedal but I think the damage is done. Anyway, I said, "you're all pretty girls". So then K Girl wanted to know "what" she was?! I said, "You're the sweet one". Of course I added the caveat that they're all sweet but I told K Girl she was especially sweet. The girls then wanted to know what O Boy was. I thought about it and said, "He's the obedient one".

But back to the pretty one...she may not be the only pretty one but she definitely IS a pretty one...of course I might be biased.

Yum

2010-12-07T23:07:00.001-05:00

A friend sent this edible arrangement after my lithotripsy next week. Chocolate dipped apples...delicious.

Made with Love

2010-12-07T22:57:00.001-05:00

Made with ♥ by Annika, Kiersten and Kardynn

Netflix

2010-12-05T01:01:00.002-05:00

I'm looking at the rental activity on my Netflix account. My first Netflix rental was in 2000. Whoa! That means I've shelled out like $1500 for Netflix so far. I should figure out how much I've paid per movie. Never mind. I'm way too lazy to count all the movies on that list.

Neglect

2010-12-04T23:53:00.000-05:00

My poor blog has been neglected. It's not that I've forgotten about it. I take photos with the intention of posting them, I think of little snippets that I want to share, I work thoughts around in my head...but somehow I never manage to sit down and make any of it happen. Ever since school started back up I've been busier than ever. I had big hopes that things would be a little less frenetic this year but alas, no, it's as crazy as ever. And I just enrolled Kardynn in preschool which I'm sure will make things even crazier. Of course that makes me question why I've signed her up but I'm doing this for her. When I first signed Oskar up for preschool it was totally about me. I needed a little break. Two kids in preschool was even more of a break. Last year was a disaster. I had one in afternoon Kindergarten and two in morning preschool...and not even on the same days. I had hoped this year would be better but now I have four kids going to school at four different times. So...once again I've pinned my hopes on next year...next year things will calm down, next year I'll finally get organized, next year I'll get a set workout routine, next year.

In the meantime Kardynn is getting to be such a big girl. She's bull-headed and difficult but she's also delightful. She uses such grown up words. I'm frequently amazed by the things she knows. And of course in order to start preschool she needed to be potty trained. At this very moment she's upstairs sleeping in her big girl bed - with no rails - in big girl underwear. It's hard to imagine that this day has arrived. Of course I'll be real and tell you that this is still a risk. I may be washing sheets tomorrow. But she's getting there...we're getting there. I'm almost done with diapers. And it feels as wonderful as I always imagined it might feel.

Other current news is that I've been on a bit of a health roller coaster. Honestly, this is perhaps the biggest reason I've not been blogging. I've spent so much of my "free" time going to doctors appointments the last few months. I'm not sure this will be the final chapter in this book but it turns out I had kidney stones...four kidney stones, to be exact. So on Thursday I had lithotripsy. Fun, fun. Hopefully now life can get back to normal.

The Toughest Job You'll Ever Love

2010-11-01T07:57:00.000-05:00

This morning as the kids were eating breakfast and I was running getting this and that for each of them Oskar announced, "I know it's a hard job to be a mom."

When it rains...

2010-10-30T11:43:00.002-05:00

When it rains, it pours - and quite literally this morning.

On Saturday mornings Dwight plays basketball at the gym. Today he happened to leave his phone behind. But no biggie. We never call him there anyway.

The morning was plugging away rather uneventfully until I discovered the girls playing in the upstairs bathroom with their kitchen toys. This is a big no no in our house. They're not supposed to play with their kitchen toys in water because we've had several ugly incidents in the past. So I unhappily scold them and tell them to clean up the water they've spilled on the floor. In the meantime I hop in the shower and throw Kardynn in the bathtub (which is where all the girls are supposed to be headed, as soon as they finish cleaning up the mess). Annika saunters into the bathroom and informs me that Kiersten has made a big mess. Kiersten comes bursting behind her, in tears, saying the bathroom is leaking.

Uh oh.

I reacted poorly. I might have cursed. I'm not sure. But I definitely pounded the tile with my fist. Not a graceful reaction. I jumped out of the shower, grabbed my towel and ran down the hall. At this point, water is pouring out of the bathroom. The hall carpet is getting wet. There's water an inch deep all over the bathroom and more pouring over the sides of the toilet. I grab the plunger and manage to get the wad of toilet paper on its merry way. (Later the girls informed me that when the wad of toilet paper wouldn't go down, they just kept flushing. Naturally.)

I'm madly trying to soak up water with all the towels we have...and hopping mad to boot. Eventually I get the water soaked up reasonably well. I transport sopping wet towels from the tub to the laundry room and start load number one. And then I jump back in the shower.

Breathe.

I tell the girls to get in the bathtub and we resume our morning. I explain that I hope they've learned to not keep flushing the toilet.

The day will get better, right?!

Just now I discovered the puddle of water on the floor in the kitchen. I unscrewed the vent (water poured out when I did that) and discovered that the puddle is on the other side. Of course it is.

Is it time to page Dwight at the gym?

Hot Dog

2010-10-26T16:21:00.000-05:00

O told me he wished that he had gotten lunch at the cafeteria today because it was hot dogs. I explained that those hot dogs, unlike the ones we have at home, are made from real meat. He said, "Oh..." and then added incredulously "are they made from dead dogs?"

Kardy-isms

2010-10-22T07:53:00.004-05:00

Kardy was just explaining to Dwight that someone could not go to work if they did not have "a work necklace" (a badge).

Yesterday she was asking where Dad was - was he "at work" or "sleeping"? So I love her take on Dwight's life. He goes to work at the gym and he comes home and sleeps. *haha*

Water

2010-10-13T11:04:00.006-05:00

I'm not really a PDA kinda person. My husband and I can probably be sickeningly sappy but we tend to keep it to ourselves. But today I just have to put it out there how much I appreciate my guy.

Sometimes I think about the enormity of the decision I made at the tender age of 23. I guess I have to credit good instincts because I'm pretty sure I didn't know what I was doing. But thirteen years later, I occasionally reflect upon it and am amazed by my good fortune. Maybe I used up all my good luck on that one thing. I dunno...but whatever it was...I'm pretty grateful.

Today my guy called me to remind me to drink water. I won't get into all the specifics of why that's a very sweet gesture...you'll just have to take my word for it. And sure, he does lots of other sweet stuff too but that phone call put a smile on my face and for once I decided to blog about it. I mean, you need to know that we can be mushy gushy, right?! Seriously, he's a great guy. I'm pretty darn lucky.