2016 Emojis

Check out the emojis that A sent in her most recent email.

P.S. I can see I need to do a little photography 101 - make sure there aren't things out the back of your head!

The Kids Still Amuse Me

Last week my friend Lisa stopped by to pick something up.  She opened her car door and something blew out in Kiersten's direction so she ran and picked it up.  It turned out to be a Wegmans receipt.  Lisa says, "Man, I spent a ton of money at Wegmans this week."  Kiersten looked at the receipt and said, "I see that."  Lisa and I died.  (For the record, it wasn't even that much money.)

This morning Oskar and I were walking to the school bus.  He held my hand and I said, "Aw, that's so nice.  You never hold my hand anymore."  He said, "Well I'd like to but you always have a lot of people around you."

Welcome to my life, folks.

Boot Camp

The other day Kardynn and I were leaving a friend's house, as that friend was preparing to rush out the door for boot camp.  The following conversation went down on our way to the car.

Kardynn, "What's boot camp?"
Me, "It's a group of people exercising."
Kardynn, "Oh, I thought it was a place where people practiced so they wouldn't get scared at Halloween."

Ah, yes, Boo Camp.

Oskar

This morning I was mystified when I found a light bulb wedged under the dryer. And then I realized what must have happened. We keep light bulbs in the drawer in the pedestal under our dryer. So Dwight told Oskar to put the light bulb away under the dryer and Oskar, as always, took his words quite literally.

Rockets

Me to Oskar: "Oh, guess what?! I just got an e-mail with an invitation to Matthew's party."
Oskar: "Yes!  He's going to watch 'Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters."
Me: "Actually he's going to launch rockets into space, well, not space."
Oskar: "Yeah, into the air, not space.  Liquid fuel or air pressure?"

Seriously?! And here I was so pleased for catching myself on the "space" thing.   

We Got Cannibals Up in Here

This morning Kardynn and I were discussing the importance of being honest.  I was trying to drill into my little five year-old that every time she tells a lie, we trust her less and less.  She piped up, "Yes, it's part of being a cannibal."  I was startled and trying to figure out the connection until she repeated herself, "It's part of being ah-coun-able (accountable)."

I feel safer already. 

(For the record, it does seems to me that cannibal children have a mighty big incentive to be honest to their cannibal parents.)

Sweet Oskar

That is my wonderful son, Oskar.  Doesn't he look like a sweet, thoughtful, considerate child?  He definitely is. 

The other day he was talking to me about how much he wishes he could spend more time with his Dad.  I know it's a little hard for the kids to understand - now that Dwight works from home - that he's still not really available during work hours.  So I explained to him that Daddy has to work and that's how we earn money to pay for our house and food and everything else that we need.

Oskar's reply, "But how come you can't be the one to work?"

I take back that comment about him being a sweet boy.

Dinner Conversation

Overheard last night at the supper table.

Annika and Kiersten were discussing a boy in Kiersten's class, who has apparently told both of them that they're pretty.

Annika, "He said that I'm hotter than Kiersten."
Kiersten, to Oskar, "What does that mean? That she's like, cooler than I am or that she's sweatier than me?"

Little Girl

Kardynn and I pulled into a parking space at the gym.

Me: Are you going to put on your sweater, little girl?
K: Yes, big mama!

Um...point taken...I will now stop calling you little girl.

Things Are Not Always What They Seem...

A few months ago my five year-old started getting into food. We've tried various tactics to get her to stop, with moderate success. She's mostly stopped doing it but every now and again we see that she's slipped into old habits. Just last night I discovered a tupperware of pretzel treats at the foot of her bed, under the sheets. We had a talk with her and explained that we don't want her getting into food because she could get into something dangerous - something that she shouldn't be eating. Unbeknownst to us, she'd already learned a lesson about things that look like food but aren't food.

This morning I found an empty wrapper in her room and the subsequent investigation lead me to a trashcan, where I found this:


Not-so-yummy soap, originally uploaded by hezro.

Apparently she thought it was a chocolate bar.

My Little Tornado

My Little Tornado, originally uploaded by hezro.

I left O and K2 watching TV while I went to move the wet laundry to the dryer and throw a new load in the washer. When I returned downstairs I gasped. How can someone so little cause so much damage in the span of five minutes?!

I notice that she did bring a broom into the room. Perhaps she intended to clean up after herself?

Trouble

Trouble, originally uploaded by hezro.

This little one found Mommy's address stamper.  She also got into scissors and put paper in the shredder so that was pretty much the trifecta of parental no-nos: stains, sharp objects and dangerous machinery.