And then I checked my phone and there was a text from the hubby, "I'm going to Hunters game. I tried to call you like 5 times :-( anyway, I'll c you tonight."
Story of my life.
Showing posts with label my crazy life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my crazy life. Show all posts
Monday, February 14
Valentines
Earlier today my sweet friend called me up and asked if I had plans. She said that she was going to doll me up for Valentines Day. She was going to sexy-ify me for the evening. Cool. So she did - she came over and prettied me up. My favorite quotable was when she said something to the effect of "Heather, just try to be girlie." *haha* It's true. I'm so not a girlie-girl. I have three daughters and I'm still a huge tomboy. Yikes! Anyway, she made my hair all pretty and put make up on me and then rushed out the door for a date with her own hubby.
And then I checked my phone and there was a text from the hubby, "I'm going to Hunters game. I tried to call you like 5 times :-( anyway, I'll c you tonight."
Story of my life.
And then I checked my phone and there was a text from the hubby, "I'm going to Hunters game. I tried to call you like 5 times :-( anyway, I'll c you tonight."
Story of my life.
Wednesday, April 28
Some Things I've Learned About Parenting
This morning I wandered over to Buried with Children and read this post. It was exactly what I needed to read this morning. It also prompted me to get off my butt and finally write this post that I meant to write since Monday. (Hmm...I guess technically it prompted me to get ON my butt in my chair in front of the computer but I think you knew what I meant.)
On Monday I was feeling very introspective about parenting. I even had an epiphany. It suddenly occurred to me that I'm always focused on all the crappy things I do as a parent and I don't give myself enough credit for the good stuff I do. Am I the only person for whom this was a ground-breaking revelation? I stress that I'm not feeding the kids healthy enough meals. I stress that I'm not giving them opportunity to play organized sports. I stress that I don't do enough crafts with them at home. I stress that I let them watch too much TV in the car. I stress about the times when I yell at them a little too easily. I stress that I don't seem to be able to bathe them as often as I intend. I stress that I forget to have them brush their teeth. I stress about this. I stress about that.
That's what I focus on - all the ways that I'm messing up. Why do I do this to myself?
I think I've mentioned before that I was an awesome babysitter. And I knew it. Presumably this is why I assumed I would be an awesome mom. I loved kids. I was good with kids. What else is there to it?
Ha! That's what I have to say about that. Ha!
Parenting isn't exactly what I expected it to be. I do love my kids and it is pretty awesome when the baby spots me across the house and comes running towards me with her arms out shouting, "My mommy! My mommy!" But it's also darn hard...and exhausting...and frustrating...and hard. Did I mention hard? Yeah, definitely pretty hard.
Here are some things I've learned about parenting:
1. It's hard to maintain enthusiasm and stamina for something when you do it around the clock. I consider myself one of the lucky ones because my kids are pretty good sleepers. We put them to bed sometime around 7pm, they're frequently asleep by 8pm and they don't wake up until about 7am the next morning. I think of that wonderful window of time between 7pm and 7am as ME time.
Unfortunately I do have to sleep during that time. And there are a lot of chores around the house waiting to be done. Sometimes I have to run to the store for groceries or a birthday present or a teacher appreciation gift.
As it turns out, ME time isn't all it's cracked up to be.
It gets worse. It's particularly hard to maintain enthusiasm and stamina for something - anything - when you're sick. And guess what?! This job does not include sick days. You just have to suck it up and try to make sure that you don't throw up in the minivan when it's your turn to drive carpool.
2. It's really hard to be consistent. I knew that when you're a parent, you must follow through on your threats. But what I didn't know then, is that your brain pretty much stops functioning once you become a parent. For example, you put your four year-old daughter on time out for four minutes - one minute for every year of age. Four minutes go by and amazingly enough, you didn't have to reset the timer once because she actually sat there like she was supposed to. You sit down next to her and ask "What did you do wrong?" Meanwhile in your head you're thinking "Crap! I hope she remembers because I definitely do not." (Yes, that absolutely has happened to me. More than once.)
In light of the fact that I have minimal brain power, how on earth am I supposed to remember what I did last week when this same exact situation presented itself? How am I supposed to remember whose turn it is to go first? How am I supposed to remember what I just threatened two minutes ago?
3. It's difficult to hear what your children are saying. I'll admit that I may have a slightly skewed perception of reality with a six year-old, a five year-old, a four year-old and a two year-old but my experience is that kids are pretty loud. In my household there's pretty much a constant drone of "She pushed me! I don't want to! He's being mean to me! I need a drink! Where's my doll? I don't like that! I need to be wiped! She called me 'poopy-head'."
Your brain does this amazing thing where it totally tunes that out and suddenly YOUR quiet is many decibels above another person's quiet. I'll be driving down the road totally immersed in my thoughts when I suddenly HEAR my four year-old is crying because her sister punched her...and has been crying about it for two minutes.
Or worse, you're at a park and another mom has to point out to you that your child is bleeding. (Fortunately that one hasn't happened to me...yet. Similar things *have* happened though.)
I feel guilty about tuning them out but I'm pretty sure that's just a survival mechanism...some sort of micro evolution. It's a good thing this parenting gig is relatively short-lived otherwise my ears might just go ahead and fall right off. In fact, maybe that's exactly why we go deaf as we age. It's just evolution at work.
4. It's tricky to get your kids to help out. Here's my rule of thumb: getting your kids to do something productive requires at least twenty times the effort on your part, that it would take to just do the job yourself. It's far easier to take the lazy way out and not bother trying to get them to help. And trust me, reward charts are an administrative nightmare. I have yet to find one that I can stick to. It's not the kids that are the problem, it's totally me. I'll admit it. I just don't have the energy for it.
Kidding aside, I wish I could see myself for what I am. I know I'm doing the best I can. Why can't I allow myself to be a work in progress? I was going to say "a work in progress like the kids" but then realized that perhaps that's part of my problem. I struggle to allow them to be works in progress sometimes too.
A wise person suggested that I sit down with my husband and that we figure out our "tier of discipline". She suggested that we figure out how our discipline should escalate and what offenses deserve what punishment, et cetera. I think this is a great idea. This way our punishments will be consistent between the two of us. And most importantly, when I get to FIVE and need to discipline, maybe my mind won't draw a complete blank as to what should happen next.
On Monday I was feeling very introspective about parenting. I even had an epiphany. It suddenly occurred to me that I'm always focused on all the crappy things I do as a parent and I don't give myself enough credit for the good stuff I do. Am I the only person for whom this was a ground-breaking revelation? I stress that I'm not feeding the kids healthy enough meals. I stress that I'm not giving them opportunity to play organized sports. I stress that I don't do enough crafts with them at home. I stress that I let them watch too much TV in the car. I stress about the times when I yell at them a little too easily. I stress that I don't seem to be able to bathe them as often as I intend. I stress that I forget to have them brush their teeth. I stress about this. I stress about that.
That's what I focus on - all the ways that I'm messing up. Why do I do this to myself?
I think I've mentioned before that I was an awesome babysitter. And I knew it. Presumably this is why I assumed I would be an awesome mom. I loved kids. I was good with kids. What else is there to it?
Ha! That's what I have to say about that. Ha!
Parenting isn't exactly what I expected it to be. I do love my kids and it is pretty awesome when the baby spots me across the house and comes running towards me with her arms out shouting, "My mommy! My mommy!" But it's also darn hard...and exhausting...and frustrating...and hard. Did I mention hard? Yeah, definitely pretty hard.
Here are some things I've learned about parenting:
1. It's hard to maintain enthusiasm and stamina for something when you do it around the clock. I consider myself one of the lucky ones because my kids are pretty good sleepers. We put them to bed sometime around 7pm, they're frequently asleep by 8pm and they don't wake up until about 7am the next morning. I think of that wonderful window of time between 7pm and 7am as ME time.
Unfortunately I do have to sleep during that time. And there are a lot of chores around the house waiting to be done. Sometimes I have to run to the store for groceries or a birthday present or a teacher appreciation gift.
As it turns out, ME time isn't all it's cracked up to be.
It gets worse. It's particularly hard to maintain enthusiasm and stamina for something - anything - when you're sick. And guess what?! This job does not include sick days. You just have to suck it up and try to make sure that you don't throw up in the minivan when it's your turn to drive carpool.
2. It's really hard to be consistent. I knew that when you're a parent, you must follow through on your threats. But what I didn't know then, is that your brain pretty much stops functioning once you become a parent. For example, you put your four year-old daughter on time out for four minutes - one minute for every year of age. Four minutes go by and amazingly enough, you didn't have to reset the timer once because she actually sat there like she was supposed to. You sit down next to her and ask "What did you do wrong?" Meanwhile in your head you're thinking "Crap! I hope she remembers because I definitely do not." (Yes, that absolutely has happened to me. More than once.)
In light of the fact that I have minimal brain power, how on earth am I supposed to remember what I did last week when this same exact situation presented itself? How am I supposed to remember whose turn it is to go first? How am I supposed to remember what I just threatened two minutes ago?
3. It's difficult to hear what your children are saying. I'll admit that I may have a slightly skewed perception of reality with a six year-old, a five year-old, a four year-old and a two year-old but my experience is that kids are pretty loud. In my household there's pretty much a constant drone of "She pushed me! I don't want to! He's being mean to me! I need a drink! Where's my doll? I don't like that! I need to be wiped! She called me 'poopy-head'."
Your brain does this amazing thing where it totally tunes that out and suddenly YOUR quiet is many decibels above another person's quiet. I'll be driving down the road totally immersed in my thoughts when I suddenly HEAR my four year-old is crying because her sister punched her...and has been crying about it for two minutes.
Or worse, you're at a park and another mom has to point out to you that your child is bleeding. (Fortunately that one hasn't happened to me...yet. Similar things *have* happened though.)
I feel guilty about tuning them out but I'm pretty sure that's just a survival mechanism...some sort of micro evolution. It's a good thing this parenting gig is relatively short-lived otherwise my ears might just go ahead and fall right off. In fact, maybe that's exactly why we go deaf as we age. It's just evolution at work.
4. It's tricky to get your kids to help out. Here's my rule of thumb: getting your kids to do something productive requires at least twenty times the effort on your part, that it would take to just do the job yourself. It's far easier to take the lazy way out and not bother trying to get them to help. And trust me, reward charts are an administrative nightmare. I have yet to find one that I can stick to. It's not the kids that are the problem, it's totally me. I'll admit it. I just don't have the energy for it.
Kidding aside, I wish I could see myself for what I am. I know I'm doing the best I can. Why can't I allow myself to be a work in progress? I was going to say "a work in progress like the kids" but then realized that perhaps that's part of my problem. I struggle to allow them to be works in progress sometimes too.
A wise person suggested that I sit down with my husband and that we figure out our "tier of discipline". She suggested that we figure out how our discipline should escalate and what offenses deserve what punishment, et cetera. I think this is a great idea. This way our punishments will be consistent between the two of us. And most importantly, when I get to FIVE and need to discipline, maybe my mind won't draw a complete blank as to what should happen next.
Monday, March 29
Laundry
If you've been following my blog, you might know that life's been a little crazy for me/us lately. We've had so many medical appointments in the last little stretch! So I got behind on a few things, including laundry. Today I'm finally tackling Mount Laundry. (This is in addition to dropping off my car for repairs, switching the car seats to a rental, and taking a two-hour jaunt to sign some tax-related paperwork - all with four kids in tow, of course).
Anyway, as I was saying, you know you have a lot of laundry when you are able to sort it as follows:
whites
beige/tans
grays
browns
blacks
reds
pinks
yellow/oranges
light blues
greens
dark blues
(Unfortunatelyseveral most of those baskets contain more than one load, plus I already had a load in the washer, another in the dryer and two baskets ready to fold. *sigh*)
Anyway, as I was saying, you know you have a lot of laundry when you are able to sort it as follows:
whitesbeige/tans
grays
browns
blacks
reds
pinks
yellow/oranges
light blues
greens
dark blues
(Unfortunately
Monday, May 26
Waterlogged
Yesterday afternoon one of the neighbors knocked on the door to find out if my kids could play. I invited her and her brother to come in and play. As I was escorting the two of them downstairs to the basement where my kids were, I discovered that in the 15 minutes since we'd sent them downstairs, they have created an assembly line and are filling up cups in the bathroom that they're proceeding to dump all over various objects in the other room. The tile entry way is completely covered with water. In some areas, the white carpet had turned gray because the pad was showing through from the bottom. It was CRAZY! We immediately sent our kids off to bed and started to clean up while the neighbor kids played around us. The little boy piped up, "I only play with water at the beach or in the bathtub. We never do this. I'll bet you wish we were in your family." At the time I was so focused on the task at hand that I failed to really appreciate the humor. But now the basement is almost dried out (thank you to those same neighbors who loaned us their little green machine...or whatever it's called) I can now appreciate the comedy.
I joked with their mom that it was probably divine intervention that they were with me when I discovered the scene because it prompted me to remain much calmer than I otherwise probably would have.
I joked with their mom that it was probably divine intervention that they were with me when I discovered the scene because it prompted me to remain much calmer than I otherwise probably would have.
Thursday, January 10
Life with the Kids
Right now that baby in the widget...my virtual baby...is spinning in the womb like it's on a merry-go-round. I'm not sure how realistic that is. I'm thinking that if my non-virtaul baby could do that at this point, I would know it! She's taking up a lot of space in there now...and seems to be elbowing for some extra space! :)
I've felt lousy the last couple of days. The weather was gorgeous M-W and I think that might be part of the problem. On Monday I met up with my friend Mockingbird at a park after Oskar got out of school. Then we came home and my kids got together and played with the neighbor kids. We even went over to their house after supper and I hung out with my neighbor while the kids all played. (Annika said, "You come too Mommy and play with *your* friend.") So that was all fine. Nothing too crazy. Tuesday I woke up feeling fine.
That afternoon I took them back outside several times. While they were playing, I started re-arranging the furniture on the screen porch. Keep in mind that we have a stone table for 6 and a stone coffee table...amongst other things. Why do I do this completely unnecessary task at 8 months pregnant? Who knows?
Wednesday I woke up feeling a little light-headed and as the day progressed, nauseous too. But of course it's another beautiful day so I took the car to the car wash and then when I get home I washed all the windows. I finished with that and then hauled around some more furniture (because I had sort of asked Dwight to do it but he never got around to it). Meanwhile I'm also toting bikes and other toys here and there...not to mention children. Then I was tidying up the house too and making supper. By the time Dwight got home (which was a little later than usual) I was pooped and sore. I crashed on the couch. Dwight put all the kids to bed by himself so that was a treat! Then he hung out with me and we watched my beloved Mavericks take it to the Pistons. :) That was nice too. (Finally, the Mavericks were looking really good!)
Today I'm feeling lightheaded again...and still a little nauseous. So I know I ought to take it easy today. Sitting at the computer blogging is taking it easy! Of course I've also done a fair bit of tidying, have some laundry going and gave the kids a bath. :) We also tried to make the gingerbread house that Uncle Jonny and Aunt Laura sent but I guess we were a little too impatient and didn't give the roof enough time to really cement...so the roof slid off...and now it's too heavy to stick it back on there. I suppose I could go plop myself in front of the tv and try to hold it together for a while so it could dry...I don't know if that would work. ?? The kids would be happy though.
Yesterday while I was outside with the kids, I heard a child crying...for like half an hour. No joke. It might have been longer. I eventually heard the child saying, "I want to go home" and "Daddy" and other similar phrases. So finally I decided to go check things out. I kept remembering Danny with his broken arms crawling to our house and neighbors hearing him calling out but thinking it was just a kid at play. So I went poking around in the "woods" behind our house until I could see two kids in the lot behind us on a trampoline. The one (a girl) appeared to be hunched up in the corner while the other one (a boy) jumped away gleefully. So I asked the boy why he didn't help the girl...and so on and so forth. Eventually they seemed to come to some sort of resolution so I mosied on back to my kids. A few minutes later, I heard the boy shouting to the person "in the woods...in the red shirt". I started thinking about it and the possible traumatic effect on a child of having someone speak to you from the woods so I got my kids together and directed them to the gate in our fence to head to the little bit of common area between the two neighborhoods "for a walk". There's a worn down area back there that you could generously call a path. My kids were delighted to be exploring something new...and I had been thinking we ought to inspect the back of our property anyway. As I approached the house with the trampoline, the little girl was now jumping alone and I saw that the boy was in the door with what appearned to be a somewhat elderly adult. The two of them were shouting for the little girl to come in. Perhaps I read too much into things but I thought that maybe the little boy had made a report about a stranger in the woods (in which case, good for him) . After I went by with my troop of three little ones, the trampoline suddenly filled up with kids so perhaps they decided I wasn't a threat after all. Anyway, I'd just like to know where on earth that adult was when the little girl was crying nonstop for half an hour?! What's up with that?
But back to my productive days, I must be going through some sort of nesting thing because I'm just itching to paint various rooms. I keep mulling over the idea of just going for it and painting the main level bathroom one day while Dwight's at work. Plus I'd really love to paint the new baby's bedroom. I'm stalled on that room though. Right now it's our guest bedroom and it makes sense to leave it as a guest bedroom until after my mom comes to help out when I'm scheduled for my induction. We're planning to move that bed down to Dwight's room in the basement, but if Mom's going to be helping out with the kids, it absolutely makes sense for her to be upstairs where the kids are! I suppose she could sleep in our room and Dwight could sleep in the basement...but it's probably just as well that I wait until I'm no longer pregnant to tackle that room. We'll keep the baby in our room for the first couple of weeks anyway. But it does drive me a little crazy to have that task lingering over me. :)
I've felt lousy the last couple of days. The weather was gorgeous M-W and I think that might be part of the problem. On Monday I met up with my friend Mockingbird at a park after Oskar got out of school. Then we came home and my kids got together and played with the neighbor kids. We even went over to their house after supper and I hung out with my neighbor while the kids all played. (Annika said, "You come too Mommy and play with *your* friend.") So that was all fine. Nothing too crazy. Tuesday I woke up feeling fine.
That afternoon I took them back outside several times. While they were playing, I started re-arranging the furniture on the screen porch. Keep in mind that we have a stone table for 6 and a stone coffee table...amongst other things. Why do I do this completely unnecessary task at 8 months pregnant? Who knows?
Wednesday I woke up feeling a little light-headed and as the day progressed, nauseous too. But of course it's another beautiful day so I took the car to the car wash and then when I get home I washed all the windows. I finished with that and then hauled around some more furniture (because I had sort of asked Dwight to do it but he never got around to it). Meanwhile I'm also toting bikes and other toys here and there...not to mention children. Then I was tidying up the house too and making supper. By the time Dwight got home (which was a little later than usual) I was pooped and sore. I crashed on the couch. Dwight put all the kids to bed by himself so that was a treat! Then he hung out with me and we watched my beloved Mavericks take it to the Pistons. :) That was nice too. (Finally, the Mavericks were looking really good!)
Today I'm feeling lightheaded again...and still a little nauseous. So I know I ought to take it easy today. Sitting at the computer blogging is taking it easy! Of course I've also done a fair bit of tidying, have some laundry going and gave the kids a bath. :) We also tried to make the gingerbread house that Uncle Jonny and Aunt Laura sent but I guess we were a little too impatient and didn't give the roof enough time to really cement...so the roof slid off...and now it's too heavy to stick it back on there. I suppose I could go plop myself in front of the tv and try to hold it together for a while so it could dry...I don't know if that would work. ?? The kids would be happy though.
Yesterday while I was outside with the kids, I heard a child crying...for like half an hour. No joke. It might have been longer. I eventually heard the child saying, "I want to go home" and "Daddy" and other similar phrases. So finally I decided to go check things out. I kept remembering Danny with his broken arms crawling to our house and neighbors hearing him calling out but thinking it was just a kid at play. So I went poking around in the "woods" behind our house until I could see two kids in the lot behind us on a trampoline. The one (a girl) appeared to be hunched up in the corner while the other one (a boy) jumped away gleefully. So I asked the boy why he didn't help the girl...and so on and so forth. Eventually they seemed to come to some sort of resolution so I mosied on back to my kids. A few minutes later, I heard the boy shouting to the person "in the woods...in the red shirt". I started thinking about it and the possible traumatic effect on a child of having someone speak to you from the woods so I got my kids together and directed them to the gate in our fence to head to the little bit of common area between the two neighborhoods "for a walk". There's a worn down area back there that you could generously call a path. My kids were delighted to be exploring something new...and I had been thinking we ought to inspect the back of our property anyway. As I approached the house with the trampoline, the little girl was now jumping alone and I saw that the boy was in the door with what appearned to be a somewhat elderly adult. The two of them were shouting for the little girl to come in. Perhaps I read too much into things but I thought that maybe the little boy had made a report about a stranger in the woods (in which case, good for him) . After I went by with my troop of three little ones, the trampoline suddenly filled up with kids so perhaps they decided I wasn't a threat after all. Anyway, I'd just like to know where on earth that adult was when the little girl was crying nonstop for half an hour?! What's up with that?
But back to my productive days, I must be going through some sort of nesting thing because I'm just itching to paint various rooms. I keep mulling over the idea of just going for it and painting the main level bathroom one day while Dwight's at work. Plus I'd really love to paint the new baby's bedroom. I'm stalled on that room though. Right now it's our guest bedroom and it makes sense to leave it as a guest bedroom until after my mom comes to help out when I'm scheduled for my induction. We're planning to move that bed down to Dwight's room in the basement, but if Mom's going to be helping out with the kids, it absolutely makes sense for her to be upstairs where the kids are! I suppose she could sleep in our room and Dwight could sleep in the basement...but it's probably just as well that I wait until I'm no longer pregnant to tackle that room. We'll keep the baby in our room for the first couple of weeks anyway. But it does drive me a little crazy to have that task lingering over me. :)
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